Members youngwidow27 Posted May 14, 2016 Members Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 The day my husband passed away, that day he wasn't the only one who died. Part of me died with him. Over the last few weeks I have come to realize that I have no idea who or what I am anymore. I am not a wife anymore. I am no longer part of "Matt and Nichole". I no longer have my partner that I have had for half my life. I am lost. I grew up with this man. Before this happened I never really realized how I defined myself. I didn't think that I put so much on being his wife. I guess that is hard not too when you have been together for 13 years, meeting at such a young age. I am having a hard time making any kind of decisions. If I couldn't decided on something, I would ask him. I don't have him to call or text anymore when I am sad or feeling lonely. I lost more than just my husband, I lost my best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KensLove Posted May 14, 2016 Members Report Share Posted May 14, 2016 It is frightening, to be sure. I recently lost a husband along with our business and our home. Although he is not with me, I still depend on his advice. I talk to him in my mind, and I knew him well enough to often know what he would have advised. Perhaps you may find that you were more decision making process than you realize. I wish you luck on your journey to be yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted May 15, 2016 Members Report Share Posted May 15, 2016 I've taken to reading several studies on grief and how this stress affects our brain. I've also run across several psychological studies as well. Here is an exert from one that I found particularly comforting: "Even when relationships have dissolved in life or through death, they can nonetheless live on within us. Ex-relationships, for example, do not really vanish after divorce. Relationships can also be alive in the mind as we are engaged in internal conversation with people who have passed, or feel haunted by relationships of the past. As Charles Horton Cooley said over a century ago, we are never truly alone because, once language is formed, the social world floods our imagination and all of our thoughts are conversations". Essentially, when we get to know a person well enough we can actually (and quite accurately) imagine what they would say to us. I wish for the same thing. I would give anything to be able to talk to him again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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