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My mom took a secret to the grave... And I found out


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I am a 20 year old college student and an only child. I am not close to anyone in my family other then my mother who I lost  at 50 years old 3 days after Christmas 2015 to a heart attack.

My mom and I were very close. We had our differences but the love was always real. I am having trouble coping and I'm trying not to be sad all the time, but it only works when I'm keeping busy. The point of this topic is I need advice with this situation: 

I just moved into a friend's house since school is out of the summer. Most of mine and my mothers belonging are in this house and as I was unpacking I found a bag of old papers for my mom. Some of them were bible study notes- this was not a shock- among them were notes from school. But the date was wrong. My mother was born in 1965. This school notes were dates 1992. Four years before I was born, making my mother 26 years old. Too old for high school and I knew she was not a college graduate. 

Amongst those notes were papers from out states GED department of a scheduled test in 1992 and her test results of a fail. 

She never told me she didn't graduate high school. And I never asked. I never saw cap and gown or prom pictures. She never talked about it. Well, she talked about high school, just not graduating it. But some how I always assumed she had. I never saw a diploma. I do know that she attended high school. I don't know if she graduated. But the thing that hurts most is knowing that she never told me. And now I feel pressured to keep the secret because she didn't want anyone to know. Especially not me. And I do. And I wish I didn't. 

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Hugs Andi ... I am so sorry about the loss of your dear mom.  The first thing that came to mind in reading your post is that whatever the reason that your mom didn't share this is NOT important.  Sadly some people define others with however many degrees and letters are behind a name but the truth is a BA, MD, NBA, DR, etc. doesn't define who we are.  What does define us is what is in our heart.  Maybe your mom didn't share this because she thought that it might give you the green light not to study hard and graduate ... who knows.  The important thing is how we define people. 

My dad was born and raised on a farm and in grade 7 he had to quit school and work on the farm because his mom passed away and his dad couldn't do the work himself. They were a struggling family.  Although my dad didn't have 12 years of school teachings, he was a very wise man and while working on that farm he learned about things like; the importance of how hard work puts food on the table ... he learned about sharing as the farmers in the surrounding area helped each other ... he learned how to fix machinery, tend to livestock, plant fields and gardens, buy, sell and trade goods, etc.  In today's world you can go to university or trade school for several years to learn all of these things but my dear dad learned them at a very young age so that he and his siblings could survive.  In his adult life my dad was very successful working in sales.  He was successful in supporting our family.  My mom was a stay home mom and didn't have to work, we went on annual vacations, and lived a very comfortable life.  I define my dad by the kind of man that he was ... a loving, caring, hard working man with a HUGE heart.  

Andi, don't put importance on the education thing.  Look at who your mom was....and be proud of her because like you said, "the love was always real."  That is the important thing.  I hope this helps.

God bless

Cindy Jane

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