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anxiety over loss of my mom


sadgirl74

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i lost her in june 6th 2007 - but at times like yesterday had such a huge anxiety attack over her not being here - i cant explain please keep me in your prayers - i hurt to see her so much - i am in so much pain -- and worry -- long story please pray for me

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butterfly13

You are in my prayers!!I lost my mom June 7,2008.I do know what you mean about having anxiety attacks over her not being here.I still can't believe the most important person in my life is now gone.I just want to talk to her so bad-I have so many things I need to tell her.Life is so lonely without my mom in it.She was my best buddy!Everywhere I go and everything I do remind me of my mom.I just pray that their really is a heaven,and that they are now somewhere so much better than here,and we will one day see them again.

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I just wanted to let you know I know how you feel. My mom passed away 14 years ago when I was 11. I was an only child and she was a single mom, so I not only lost my mom, but my best friend. As I watched all of the adults around me fall apart, I saw that it made them even sadder when I cried about my mom, so I started to keep my tears inside to be strong for my family. After that, I took on the role as "the strong one" in everything else I did.

I am now 25 and all those memories of my mom's death resurfaced when my boyfriend had to have major surgery. He is well and safe now, but all of those emotions I had kept inside for so long began to come out as panic attacks leading up to his surgery. After counseling and many talks with family and dear friends I came to the realization that the panic was being caused by the fact that I never fully grieved for the loss of my mom. I kept it all inside, all to myself and eventually my body had to force me to release it.

Now I have started the grieving process all over again. I want you to know that you are not alone feeling the way you do. I feel the same way. As long as I keep crying, keep talking about what's inside of me, keep getting it out, the panic and anxiety don't build up. If I can give you any advice it would be to keep letting you emotions and thoughts out. Keep sharing them, both good and bad, and little by little you will feel the relief.

It's one thing to cry or be sad by yourself, but it's a much more powerful experience it have someone to share your words with, especially someone who understands. I will keep you in my thoughts, but please keep sharing---tears, laughter, memories, jokes, stories, everything! It's the best medicine I know of.

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I agree Beezer. The grief either comes out in tears or in physical ways, so it's better to let the tears flow.

I wake up having anxiety attacks. My Mom has been gone 6 weeks (it feels like 6 years) and ever since her death, I've always had problems in the morning especially. I do think the anxiety and heart palpitations aren't as intense when I cry the day before and let all that emotion out.

I'm surrounded by people who think I'm supposed to snap myself out of this and just go on with life. That's exactly the wrong thing to do so I haven't been listening to them. I have to let myself grieve over the person I loved most in the world. I think crying is very healing so I'll let myself do it whenever it happens.

I'm praying for everyone here.

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Hi, Sorry to jump in here, but when my mum first died in March 2004 (god, it still seems weird saying that), I was very tearful, felt like I had the flu with aches and a few pains but no fever, really tired but couldn't sleep, I told people to shut up whether or not they were talking to me, I felt the world was unjustified, people were living their lives on the day my mother died and I just felt like rubbish.  I had odd dreams about her, I had physical sensations, and still to this day, 5 years ago, it still stops me in my tracks, I still get physical pain in my stomach.  I get the same with my dad too, he died 16 years ago (woah), it just seems like perhaps the longest journey to me, or one of the longest journeys to me, painful at times and you wonder when the pain subsides. It's not a journey I would want to go through again, but I have a feeling I might with my step mother in a few years time.  Well, she's still alive so I'll take one day at a time.

Sue

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We are all scattered thru out the country, but are pulled by the same over whelming feelings of grief, loneliness, saddness and alot of anxiety. It is hard for me to use the word "die" so I tend to say that my mom and my best friend passed away Nov 23 2008.  I was racked with overwhelming saddness, grief and depression.  It just seemed to deepen every day.  One friend kept saying - well, you are single and don't have a partner - you are grieving for your mom like she was your partner. 

I know she didn't intentially mean to hurt me, but it did hurt.  How insenstitive can you get? My mom is my mom and best friend.  Its rare when that can happen -- becoming adult friends, but we did.  Maybe this isn't the relationship that you have with you mom.  And I am sorry that you didn't get to experience it.

Trust me, if I had a partner, I would grieve for her in a different way. And bringing up being single was just more gas on the fire.  Really, there should be some help for people trying to be sympathetic, but failing.

I cried from November to April (almost every day).  In May, my therapist finally decided this is clinical depression and suggested antidepressants. The meds started to helped, but I didn't feel real progress until I read this book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated by David D. Burns.

Just reading the preface - I felt like David truly got what I was feeling. 

I am also practicing Toglin mediation and trying to learn to sit with my hurt, grief, anxiety and lonileness.

For others struggling with this, peace to you.

 

 

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