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Loss of Cassie


MissSam

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My 21 year old younger sister passed away a few months ago.  I'm just so surprised that she's gone.  I saw it coming since she had a medical condition.  I just didn't think it would be so soon.  I spent as much time with her as I could but looking back, it doesn't seem like it was enough.  However no amount of time would ever seem like enough.  I wish I could have done more for her and then I realize that no matter what I did, no matter how much, it wouldn't have been enough.  In all actuality I really did do as much as I could.  I just have to accept that as enough.  I think about what it would have been like to be her, always fighting for her life, year after year, medical problem after medical problem.  I think about all the strength she had to keep holding on and keep fighting to stay alive.  I'll never take my good health for granted.  There's so many things in this world you can buy but good health isn't one of them.  You can buy the best medical treatment that money will buy but you can't buy the good health.  I lay here and wonder how can I carry on with my own life and keep living my life to the fullest, knowing that's one more day I get to have that my sister never got.  I try to think of ways to explain death to my young son, my sister's nephew, so he understands.  He's asked for my sister many times.  They had such a special bond, her only nephew.  The cold hard truth is that there's never enough time with anyone that you loose.  There never would be.  No matter how much you do, no matter how long, there's always more that could have been done.  It's time for me to accept that I did all that I could.  I have to carry on my own life and make it twice as great.  I will always miss my sister but I can do so while still enjoying my life to the fullest.  

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