Lost my best friend and son.

[Waynes78]

Yesterday my ex wife called me hysterically crying telling me that our baby was gone. When I got there he was laying in his bed lifeless. We found out later last night that him and two other boys had drank some sort of racing fuel. Trying to be "cool" I can only guess. My son is was 16 by the way. One of the other boys is on life support and the other one is ok. My son, Logan was the best son a man could dream of having. He liked to hunt and fish. He liked to watch football. Now I don't have him. My heart is broken and I cannot imagine the rest of my life without him. I cannot understand why he is gone from me. He was my everything. We were best friends. How do I go on living without him? Someone please explain where I go from here?

[XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]

Oh, Wayne ~

Oh course there are no human words that could ever sooth your heart and soul and ever your very lifes breath

At this time .

You son has been ripped from your very heart and soul.

And ~ as you said , your desk son Logan & best friend.

My son Ronnie who died of suicide lost his brother Rocky my 21 yr old son , to an accident ~ Ronnie and Rocky were not just brothers but they were 'best buds from the start.

Ron never adjusted to Rockys death, and died 10 years later of suicide.

I share this, as a mother who lost the two sons who loved her in word and deed ~

So you know that you can, and will survive ~ somehow ~ as you walk thru your grief , work thru it..it will be the hardest thing you've ever done I suspect ~

And somehow, I am still here, breathing and living each day without them.

I honestly do not know how, why, I was able to survive ~( many words & concepts & ideas is not what you need or what will help you much at this tramatic time) ~

Anyway, Wayne ~

This I know for sure,,it was an on line group with people who had experienced losing their children in simular ways as you & I.

This particular group is no more..

They literally saved my life & helped me somehow hang onto my sanity by listening,,letting me say all my words, and say words, sentences, concepts when necessary that let me know that I was not alone in every SINGEL feeling thru every spectrum of human emotions that naturally come with a tramatic loss of a child.

Except I can tell you that one day ,,,in the far future, you will feel different ~ not nessessarily better ~~ but as each of us who are & have walked this most sorrowfull of roads have somehow figured out how to live our lives here 'till we can be reunited with the ones who have gone on before us.

I apologize for I am saying just so many, to many words.

I really care,about you and Logan's friends & family who are left behind

,as everyone here who reads your post.

Keep reaching out, keep talking..do not give up

Know everything you go thru is perfectly normal for a abnormal loss..do not give up & even when you feel like you can not , do not know how you can go on,,,know that you are pressing forward .

A mother whoes heart aches for yiun& your family even as I type this message ~

Rainie

[Waynes78]

Thank you Rainie. I keep expecting him to text or call or walk through the door. I even text him today knowing deep down he was not going to return my text but hoping he would. It snowed a quite a bit here today and Logan loved to ride his 4 wheeler in the snow. My throat keeps dropping to my heart and my heart to my stomach. I have cried several times today and threw an anger fit once. I am so hurt but yet I am so mad that he was taken from me before it was time for him to leave. Logan was the most loving and caring person you would ever meet. Never met a stranger and was never in a bad mood. Even when he would get angry about his truck breaking down it would only be a few minutes and he would be in a good mood again. I just want to hug him. Cause even though he was 16 he would still tell me he loved me and hug me even in front of his friends. I would give my life for one more look at him.

[shorty16]

Waynes78,

I am so sorry for the loss of your 16 year old son. My son was also 16 when he decided to climb on the hood of a car along with another boy. The 3rd boy drove 68 mph with 2 kids on the hood of his car. The driver lost control and hit a tree. My son flew off and hit the ground. My Brian died within minutes. The other boy survived. The driver is now a convicted Felton.

Please do not try to think of your future, it will come soon enough. Right now, in this minute, be kind to yourself. We will deal with the next minute when it comes. This goes on for quite a while until we learn to function in this new life we have been give.

Please post on the Loss of an Adult Child thread. My Brian was not an adult, but we were accepted without question. You will too.

I have been on this road for 7.5 years and I have learned how to function. We can help you.

Colleen, Brian's Mom forever

[InHeavensKeeping]

Waynes78 I think you've already found loss of an adult child thread.

Keep going back there's so much support there. I've posted a messege

There for you.

God Bless xx

[Twinkle3]

I wish I could tell you. My heart goes out to you. I too just lost my precious daighter unexpectedly on Jan 24,2016. I scream and cry out loud or I am numb to everyone and everything around me. I am angry and sad all at the same time. Peace love and light to you

[Waynes78]

Hi Twinklee,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss as well. I am still new to this also. My son left me on January 21. The people on this website are wonderful and have all been where we are. Go to the loss of an adult child and post there. That's where everyone else posts.