Sudden loss of my best friend and wife

[steve1971]

on 12/23 my wife was at her sisters getting ready to christmas shop for our grand kids and she was so excited.then came the call there was something wrong and they were calling an ambulance.she had a large clot on the left side of her brain they had started TPA but the decided it was to big and her best bet was surgery well they couldnt get it all and the window had closed the stroke had killed most of the left side of her brain.on 12/24 i knew what i had to do but i didnt want her die on christmas so i opted for the 26th she went to be with the lord at 10:09pm

and now i am alone, i wake up in the morning and she is not here and i cry all day

i hurt so bad and dont know what to do ive been popping nitro like crazy

babe rest in peace i miss you and my heart is breaking

[ModKonnie]

Steve1971,

I am so very sorry for your loss. The terrible tragedy and suffering you have experienced is heartbreaking. Can you talk to other family members? Talking is the best way to deal with all of this. Just talk and cry and talk and cry and try to get through just a little at a time for now. Popping the nitro is not a good idea. Why don't you call your doctor and talk with him if you feel you need something for the anxiety? Sometimes, when an attack comes on--deep breathing and counting out loud while you concentrate on counting will help. 

 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

[steve1971]

Thank you for the reply.I have plenty of support but it doesn't seem to help.we had a very special bond that others would call into question because we spent very little time apart from each other we enjoyed doing everything together.As for the nitro i have a doc coming today i do have a bad heart and my wife had taken on everything to keep stress off of me because she was afraid something would happen to me so now i feel guilty because of the stress i placed on her but i know she loved me and would have had it no other way. i miss her and it is not getting any easier.one day all these people will get back to there own lives and i will be alone again 

[Everly]

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[ferida10]

Steve,

I can imagine the pain you have right now. Losing your wife and your best friend is really not easy especially this holiday season. I can understand all the struggles, confusions and mix emotions you felt. Cry as long as you can. Talk about her and the good memories you had with her. Talk to your family and friends. There's no need to escape the pain but to accept and feel it. Talk to her. Please know that we are many here for you. We will be with you through out this journey. Just be gentle to yourself.If you need someone to talk to, I'll be here for you. Take care. Ferida

[ferida10]

Modkonnie,

I'd like to thank you for all your support to our fellow grievers. I'm just wondering. Are you one of the founder of this website? I can't trace the trail of your story but I've notice your dedication to comfort people. Your sympathy is definitely an encouragement to others. I'd like to thank also Hey Jude, Obakesan and others who replied and comforted me during my darkest moment and that was last June of this year when I joined this site. Now that I'm back on my feet again, I'd like to help because I know that by just listening, understanding and sympathizing it can at least help. It indeed helped me. Thank you Modkonnie. I'll be with you.

[obakesan]

hey Steve

I lost my lovely wife back in 2012 from a sudden unexpected brain bleed related to a tumor we didn't know about.

take it day at a time, don't think about the future and recall her love as best you can.

Similar to you I had just had a surgery to repair an aneurysm on my aortic artery. I think I did quite a bit of blaming myself too.

The first weeks are just shock. The realisation of the depth of loss takes time, so just go with it.

You are the vessel of her memory and her love now, so while you will feel lousy, just remember to respect your self as if you were respecting her.

best wishes