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understanding girlfriends grief of losses fiance


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My story: I am 40 years old and have been divorced for ten years. I received custody of my then 4 year old daughter. I committed myself to raising my daughter and sacraficed many things socialy and dating. I have met many women, but nothing ever materialized. Nine months ago I met a women through a friend on mine that I found very attractive. I then found out she had just lost her fiance a month before. I started talking to her on the phone and got her to go out on a date. We continued to talk and she told me that she was glad she had met me, and had not been able to get out of the house since his death. Her daughters could not even get her to leave the house. As time moved on and I got to really know her, I started having serious feelings for her. I was concerned because I knew she was still grieving and thought it would be a hard to have a relationship with her. As time went on we became really close and I fell in Love with her, I was always supportive and uplifting with her, and she confessed her Love for me. I knew she was worth the work to be with her even knowing how hard it may be. I took on the commitment to be with her. I thought she would get over his death sooner than I thought based on the fact they had only reconnected the previous 4 months before his death. She explained they have lived together 10 years earlier and that he had cheated on her so she left. She told me she had still been in Love with him the whole ten years they where apart. We have been together now for 9 months and she has her ups and downs, especially the gilt of finding someone else she loves. The Holidays are coming up and she is having a hard time with it. She reassures me that she is in Love with me and does not intentionally try to hurt me, but sometimes she does when she seems distant. One thing she has done is left his and her picture together on her main Facebook page. Our pictures together are also in the album section. She has know problem confessing her Love for me on the social media, but there picture together really bothers me. I know you can't really put a time frame on someone grieving and I have been the most supportive person to her. I will say at times it wears on me emotionally, but she is worth it. She says her love for me is no less, just different. We have talked about Marriage, but I know she needs more time. I don't think I could Marry her with their picture together on social media. My thoughts are maybe when she can let herself take them down then the time would be right. We have been living with each other for 3 months and everything has been great. She has been communicating her feelings with me and I have been supportive even though it hurts and somtimes make me jealous inside. She has wrapped up her life with me and work and has really lost the need to socialize with people outside of me, family and work associates. She says she is does not want to right now. I don't know if I'm looking for advise, comfort. It's just really hard at times to see what she is going through and not being able to take the pain away completely. I'm tired right now, because she coming off a low and it wears on me. I hope in time the episodes of grief Will lesson their occurance. In the meantime I will be there for her in her grieving.

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