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Uncle passed away 3 years ago


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Three years ago this September 19th my uncle was in a horrible accident a guy run into a semi truck and the semi then struck my uncles car killing him. The driver that caused the accident is out there living his life and didn't get any jail time even though he has a horrible driving record. My uncle was married and has a sister (my mom) the first year I was in complete and total shock I felt like it didn't even happen the second year I was in a Pentecostal Holiness church where I was going to revival after revival and I was so busy with that the anniversary didn't feel as bad. This third year is HORRIBLE THE WORST I have felt since he passed away. Growing up I didn't really know him I am not going into details. I met him at 14 years old and for the next few years I communicated with him and his wife thru emails and instant messaging. In 2010 my grandma got cancer and him and my mom got really really close and I did as well. I got to really like it and I was finally having the relationship with him I had always dreamed of and wanted. In a split second he was taken from us. I feel stuck in 2012. NOBODY understands why I am having such a hard time this year. For one thing I am back in touch with my uncle's wife and she was the one that told me what really happened. For the past two years I had believed the semi truck driver was at fault and that was not the case at all. I only found this our a few months ago. I looked up the person who was at fault he has caused so many accidents before and usually buys his way out of prison time, he has also done drugs and many other things. I told some of the friends this and they were all so defensive and got on my case and actually felt sorry for HIM. A lot think he was abused, NO there is never an excuse for careless driving and that's what it was simply careless, wreck less driving. He grew up a rich spoiled kid from what I could find out about him and has loads of money to get him out of any situation. I post my feelings on Facebook all the time and I have learned that's a huge mistake. One friend yesterday told me I basically should delete my post and go for a walk outside and set goals for myself and never think about it again. That's what I did for two whole years simply tuck away my feelings so I would have to feel pain or hurt. I told her I was hurting and she said "You're hurting because you got your mind in a funk" That really really hurt me badly. Yesterday I was grieving so hard. She then says "It's been a long time now" NO, to me is hasn't. I feel stuck in 2012 I feel like I only spoke to my uncle yesterday. The whole month of September reminds me of September of 2012. She went on and on about how I need to forgive the person who caused this accident. YES. I KNOW that, but I am not ready yet she told me if this is a test from God I failed and made a 0. Wouldn't you find that cold and heartless? Am I overreacting here??? I am 29 years old and she says I am too young to be so hurt over this matter and it was only an uncle. Everything she said made it HURT WORSE...YES. I have deep feelings and I am very different compared to other people my own age. I've also been thru ALOT compared to others. I have deep feelings I can't help that this woman is 55 years old I can't believe she would do that to me she was supposed to my friend. Not one friend I have understands how I feel about September. I can't even cook a certain because that's the meal I had the night before my uncle was killed in a car crash. People think that's silly. My last conversation I had with my uncle was about getting an iPhone 4S he was trying to get me to get an iPhone so we could talk on Face time and I was telling him to with android. Since he died I wanted to get an iPhone in memory of him. In March of 2014 which was two years exactly when I had that conversation with him my co worker offered me her old iPhone 4s. Since then three other co workers have offered me their iPhone 4 so now I have about four iPhones not all are activated but are great back up phones. People think I am CRAZY for accepting all the phones. Why not? I have cell phone plans next to free. They don't get how the iPhone comforts me think they say they don't understand how the iPhone has anything to do with my uncle. Maybe I am crazy I don't know. I do know my uncle's wife is also having a hard time dealing with my uncle's death as well. They were married for 30 years. She has sisters and a brother and a lot of nephews and nieces, but after a couple weeks she said they all got tired of her being so sad. I am glad I am back in touch with him. I just hate this month so much...........can anyone at all relate to this??

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