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new to the board...lost my mother last year


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Hi everyone


I have joined this forum as I feel like I'm still grieving and not really able to talk about it at home.  


My story so far- my mum suddenly died last year from lung failure. It was a shock as she had been fine.  Unfortunately this was just after I gave birth to my daughter so I was jumping on a plane to go and say goodbye 2 days after a hard delivery...it was heartbreaking seeing her suffering so much and she never really properly met her much wanted granddaughter. 


2 weeks after that my brother in law suddenly dies in a car crash.  This is much more painful  for me than the death of my mum as my mum was old and it happens but my brother in law was young and had his whole life ahead of him.  He lived with me and my family for nearly 6 months and was very close to my kids...we were good friends.  I still feel truly devastated and its just been a year.  It was just so traumatic..the waiting around knowing he was probably dead my husband having to tell his whole family as he was first on the scene..seeing my brother in laws dead body...just all so traumatic. Of course my husband was in a total state and he walked around furious with life for 6 months (totally understandable) but this had a big effect on my kids and our relationship.  We share a grief but not really together..and I just feel so far away from my husband.  I cant talk about it at home in fear of upsetting him and then he gets angry with me.  My kids dont want to talk to daddy about it which breaks my heart as I know how much they miss their uncle.  My eldest is 8..so its really effected him.  I feel like I almost dislike my husband from everything we have gone through..the fact that he never wants to talk or share anything together or with my kids.  It feels like their is a huge gap between us..and I am devastated for our relationship. I dont know how to get thing back.  


I still feel so angry that my brother in law was snatched away.  My husbands family arent very close we live close to one another but never meet up not really sure why..but my brother in law was just the best and was always around and I feel sick that he was taken and my other family in law are just so bad at getting together.  After everything we lost last year you would think they would see family as being precious but I think its divided them more..and Im gutted.  Our kids are all similar ages and my kids will never know their cousins...we have tried saying something but nothing works.  This makes the loss of my brother in law worse.  


Things are just so hard.  I know Im still grieving and havent made peace with things..I almost feel like I havent had time as i have 4 kids and another one on the way..life has been too busy. I know I should go and see someone but its just getting the tiime and courage to admit to someone how I am feeling.  i tried telling my husband this and of course he didnt say anything just shut me down and went into his usual cave.  


sorry to waffle on I hope what i am writing is normal for people who are greiving.  Thank you for reading this..and thank you for a place to be able to write down my feelings! 



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My heart goes out to you, what a tragic turn of events, To lose a loved one in death is tragic, and even more so when it is so sudden, and unexpected. No one can understand the pain you are feeling at this moment. I would like to extend my condolences to you. The death of a loved one brings to us the most intense emotions. And the adjustment period for grieving has no time table, nor should you impose one upon yourself. The key is finding a balance to your grief, that allows you to function, to be there for your children, husband , and to enjoy the most precious gift that we have, which is life. Death does bring despair, but we would never want to allow it to fill us with hopelessness.

I am participating in a volunteer program, where we reach out to those who have lost loved ones in death, and provide bible based HOPE for the future. A scripture that helps us thru the grieving process, and contains a promise of hope is John 5:28,29..it reads " Do not be amazed at this, for the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice. 29 ; ..and come out.

That promise was given to us by Jesus Christ..It means that we have the hope of seeing our dead loved ones again. Many are taught that their dead loved ones go to heaven, and that is a beautiful hope..but one that just doesn't completely satisfy us. Would you like to know if that is what the bible teaches? ...Please feel free to ask Jehovah's Witnesses the next time they visit you.

You may also want to visit our free website- www.jw.org. There you will find bible answers to many questions..Such as.."Why do we grow old and die? Why does God permit suffering?

The following link has a list of frequently asked questions. http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/questions/

My Condolences

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