I don't know if this will help you, but please think about it....

[RememberingJoAnn]

I lost my girlfriend of 7 years on June 17, 2013 from a sudden cardiac arrest. She was with her mother at the time of her death. JoAnn had been sick with a longterm cough for about a month, and it wasn't getting any better, and so on the morning of June 16th, her sister took her to the clinic, the doctor diagnosed the cough as walking pneumonia, and prescribed a high dosage/short regimen of antibiotic. I came over and spend the rest of the day with Jo, taking care of her, making her meals, making her sit on the couch and rest. We watched television and talked and Jo seemed like she was in the best of moods, almost at peace with things....kinda strange to me, but I enjoyed her mood.

Jo died that night, and when they called me, I went into such a rage and panic and craziness.....how do you deal with this kind of thing, so much out of the blue....I went over to her place where her parents were and her sister....I lost it and sobbed and cried and it was just....well, what can you imagine....to KNOW that you won't be with your partner again and talk with her and look at her and kiss her and all of that....

The next morning I was so depressed and crazed with loss, that I decided that I had to do something, and so I drove over to her clinic to talk with her doctor about this antibiotic....I mean, these pills were the size of a dime diameter wise....I thought there might be some connection....you grasp at anything that might give you answers.....that might make sense out of something that makes no sense....

So I was at the doctor, I was still crying some, and told the receptionist what had happened, and could she please get the doctor....I was the only one in the lobby area....nobody else there....as I was waiting for the doctor then, I was alone, and I was just standing there looking out their window onto the street; it was sprinkling and I was thinking to myself, How the heck am I going to deal with this over the next days, weeks, months, years.....I was a wreck....and I knew I was in emotional trouble....

Suddenly....just like JoAnn was standing right next to me on my left....not a whisper but her voice, HER voice, I heard....."Greg......Greg......it's okay....it will be okay....."....that was it....I'm sure my eyes bugged out of their sockets....but I had NO DOUBT whatsover that Jo had talked to me, that she was letting me know that she existed, that it was going to be alright, that someday I'll see her again....I felt an immediate relief....I was still so emotionally messed up, but....there was a little peace right at that moment....

It's been a tough two years....I talk to her outloud....I pray for her.....I even sing little songs to her, using her name in common, simple tunes.....I dream about her, sometimes they are nightmares.....

But, I know that Jo is there...somewhere....she is well....she is loved....she is at peace....and dying for her meant she went immediately from "here", this place where we still are....to the next place, whatever that is....but it's safe for her.....

This has helped me cope....

[ad99]

Thank you for sharing your story.

I lost my hubby of 20 years from cancer. I was with him when he died... it was the most cruel thing I've had in my life. After about 3 to 4 months passed, I saw him once in my dream. He was standing in front of me with a big smile and dressing in white. He was looking young. I was surprised and I reached out my hand to touch his arm... Although the dream was very brief, it was very vivid and real to me because I could still feel the touch feeling in my hand after I woke up. He wanted me to know that he is well. Today still, I've encountered many phenomenons such as things moving and spiritual chills. Knowing he is still here with me time to time, this has given me a lot comfort that no one could give me...

Anyway, I still have my ups and downs, and the life has been very harsh with me, but I am happy he doesn't need to suffer from pain anymore... I will see him again someday. Yes, like you, this has helped me cope.