Loss of spouse to heroin

[Missterih]

I lost my husband dec 272014 due to herion overdose. It's a long story it sorta started two years ago when my husband met a girl online then met her in person and started smoking crack again. I was clueless he owned his own business so I thought he was busy with work but come to find out a year later he was using again. He would stay up all night and expect me to stay up with him and him telling me it was just anxiety that's why he couldn't sleep but he was smoking crack. Then he was starting to sleep all day and meanwhile my daughter was cutting herself and has an eating disorder. She was hospitalized and then my husband told me that he got sucked into this relationship with this totslly crazy woman who was ruining his life. My husband got progressively angry at everything he was acting crazy wanting sex all the time but couldn't prrform blaming me not realizing it was the drugs that stopped his performance. He would constantly blame me it was horrible. Then his business started to fail he wasn't going to work we had no money and he at some point after going to rehab using heroin. I had no idea I guess I was in denial there were so many signs but I was so worried about our daughter that I just didn't see it. So 2013 some of his family td me he was using drugs and I didn't believe them. So the days got worse and worse and he became verbally and emotionally abusive. He treated me and my daughter like **** my daughter was scared of him . On Father's Day he held a gun to my head and said if you don't tell me why you didn't wear a dress on fathers day ill shoot you. I was so frightened I talked my way outta of it and thenn he wanted to have sex with me. He was obsessed with sex but he couldn't perform cause of the drugs and I thought it was me and he blamed me. Then he started staying awY from home for weeks at a time and would say it's business come to find out he was using herion. Then all the sudden he didn't want to have sex so I knew something was wrong but had no idea what. Long story short he finally one night said he was using heroin and needed help. The family got involved and then he got arrested so he had to do detox and rehab. Omg I can't even tell you all the situations he was so gucked up and sbusive . So just after thanksgiving he went into detox after he screamed and yelled and scared the **** out of our daughter. She didn't want him to come home but I felt bad for him he was staying at his office so I went there while he was detoxing he was a mess he then didn't want to be alone and my daughtrr said she'd leave if he came home so he stayed at his sisters for a couple nights then begged and begged to come home and so I begged and begged my daughter to let him come home cause it was christmas so he ended up coming home he was clean he made Christmas dinner with my daughter while I was at work and it was nice then Christmas Day we went to his half brothers house he seemed fine and we were leaving for chicago that night so we left our daughter stayed home but we drove to chicago and he got really sick puking everywhere in Pennsylvania but I kept driving we stopped at next stop cleaned him up and he slept rest of way we got to Chicago around 10 pm and everyone my whe family was there he took a shower we stayed up for a bit he stayed up all night with his neices and nephews and I went to bed woke up next morning and we talked with my sister laughed for hours then he disappeared. About half hour later I was like something's not right I went to bedroom we were sleeping in door was locked long story short I broke the door down and found him with needles in his arm I gave him CPR til ambulance got there and he died at 12:15 since then my life has been a complete disaster

[Miriamhuerta60]

I'm very sorry for your loss. It is a roller coaster being with an addict. I wish you healing and forgiveness in you heart. And the strength for you and your daughter. It will always hurt but you did what was best for ur family. Addiction is a terrible thing. It makes people different than who they really are and I'm sorry for your loss