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A woman that we call the incubator.


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 this is the first time i have seen this board here on this site, I have posted in 'Loss of an adult child , sudden death and loss of a sibling .

 I  The words ' where to start' keeps going though my mind like a merry go round and the words ' at the beginning' is chasing them.


 So that's where it starts'

 Anne married our dad when she was 15 years old 1956 , she had ran off from her home in Texas and came home to New Mex. with dad a 25 year old man. That right there makes me think of many not real pretty names men like that are called.

 anyway, she got pregnant immediately and my oldest brother  came along . 2 years later my other brother showed up , 14 months later i come along. ^ weeks after i am born Anne  one day while dad is at work shoe up at a family members home drops the three of us off slaps my oldest brother so hard he has a bloody nose 'because he is running  after her crying ' mama' . And Anne Never looks back .

 Dad never said one good word about her if he said any thing . He hated  the mention of her name and wold cuss that name in anger.

 He married  4 more times before my 15th birthday  , when I left home got married and started having my babies. ( BTW, my 2 brothers and I  have all kept our children from day one and have all raised them as parents should)  dad married 'baby sitters and them women who all had 3 or more kids already , married a paycheck.   All the time we 3 kids were growing up my brothers 'looked' for Anne,  we had her maiden name on our birth certificates and knew where in Texas she was from.  So they were always looking Thu phone books and calling every one in the list of her maiden name  writing letters to the people  etc... i personally could give a huge RATs A** about her.

 My dad passed away in January of 1990 and darn if my brothers didn't find her in July of 1990. get this, she and my middle brother lived less than 5 miles away from each other in the sub burbs of a large Colorado city.   so I go to my brothers house in  September of the year I turned 30 years old and my youngest kid turns 10 years old.

to meet this woman that had incubated the eggs my dad fertilized that was me.

 It took her less than 4 months to piss my oldest brother off by miss treating his small 3 year old son ,to the point that he  would answer the phone when she called but  he wouldn't put any energy or time into giving her a call or even meeting her ' half way'.  For the next 15 or so  years my other brother and I tried to build some sort of relationship with her but she never wanted to speak of  any part of the 30 years before that July in 1990 except to bash our dad and lay the whole entire 100% blame on our dad. .  When I ask her one time about why  she never tried getting in touch with any of us 3 kids, she just got this real 'victimized' look on her face and said " the guilt". When I responded that I hadn't ever bought a ticket on her guilt trip and so that answer wasn't good enough she got all pee pee hearted and left it took her  a couple of months before she called me again.

My daughter died suddenly in 2001  she was 21 . Anne acted like it was agood thing cuz now we, her and me could bond. that went over like a 'lead balloon'.

My other brother died suddenly in 2007, he was 47 .  Anne  has since  then completely cut all ties again 'walking away never looking back' .

just for the heck of it here's a bit of  info about a few things she got up to during the 30 years she was gone. She had another daughter 7 years younger than me and when that girl was about 5 she 'sold' her to some family members ( instead of a legal  adoption)  and about 4 years later legally adopted a 18 month old baby boy  and raised him and is now in the process of helping him raise his two daughters while his wife is in prison for drugs.

This is the first time I have ever tried writing this whole  thing out, and I'm sure it sounds more like rambling than anything.  i tried to just hit on the "high spots ' and not get to lost in a bunch of boring detail.


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Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields

- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.

- Facebook and Twitter Integration

- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"

- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.

- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board

- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it.

- Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible.

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other.

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA


Beyond Indigo Family

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