Loss of another young man

[calebsmomma]

We lost our son December 19, 2007.  On April 15, 2009, my son's former roommate, classmate and friend as well as being one of my daughters ex boyfriends, died in a car accident as well.

I find myself walking in a daze all over again. I mean I did all the "right" things, we went to visit the family at their home, went to visitation and the funeral yesterday and i just feel numb all over again.  the funeral and visitation was in the same place that Caleb was. 

They live 2 house away from us and I intend to visit again in a couple of weeks when everyone goes on with their lives...but I need strength to do this. 

My daughters and husband all look kinda like zombies or robots too.  We all loved Steven. 

What can I do to make myself available while not dying more myself...I almost feel a call from God to do what I can to help. 

BTW...we are all from a small town and my husband and I went to school with Stevens mom our whole life...their youngest daughter and our oldest daughter are both graduating highschool in a few weeks.

Any suggestions would be appreciated

[mpsmom]

Calebsmomma, I am so sorry for the loss of your son, and now the loss of one of his friends. I am glad you have found your way to the BI website, we are all in different stages of our losses and I will suggest that you join us on the 'loss of an adult child', My 17.5 years old only child, my daughter Bethany died 7 months ago this evening. Her cause of death was sudden heart failure...... time goes on although we somedays dont want it to.  We are 14-20 parents on the "loss of an adult child" that are there to all support each other. ..I find great words of comfort there, and omedays I am able to offer comfort as well.  I pray the days will be lighter for you. 

Warm Hugs, Marcia    Bethany's Mom forever

[shorty16]

Calebs Mother,

I have no words of wisdom other them the path I am on right now.

Like you, I have to do something that will bring pain and sadness to my life, but it will help other people; therefore, I am doing it.

On 4-23-09, I will speak at 2 drivers education classes on the dangers of car-surfing.  My 16 year old son died (6-19-08) when the car he was riding on (on the hood of the car) was traveling 68 miles an hour and hit a tree.  Brian died at the scene.

I would like nothing else then to crawl in a hole and die.  But, I cannot.  Therefore, I am speaking to these kids and their parents on the dangers of car-surfing and what I have been through.

I am so nervous and almost sick to my stomach, but it is the right thing to do.  Just like visiting with your friend is the right thing to do.  I do not know if speaking infront of teenagers and their parents will help me, but I know too much to sit silent about this killer.

Don't know if this helps, but we both have to face activites we do not want to do.  But these activities help others.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever.

[nicksdad]

Caleb’s Mom….I am sorry for the loss of your son and now the loss of this young man. I think you going to the house and visitation is a very big step that you have done. Maybe if anything just pop over and offer to be there if she wants to talk. I am sure the family knows what you have gone thru and will find comfort in knowing someone as close as you is there  not so much help them but listen to them. 

I know my sister was and has been a “rock” for my family. She lost her son 11 months prior to us losing our Nick. I continually tell her how much I appreciate everything and all that she has done for others in the same situation. Her only response is “If I can help someone else thru this process then that is all that matters”…She knew/knows first hand how hard it is, and how others are not always there for you.