My kitty just unexpectedly died :( I am very anxious and depressed and can't think straight. help?

[Deeders]

I am sadder than i have ever been in my life. It feels liks I lost my heart . I miss my cat ,Pigeon so much!!!! She was only 7 years old. I was 14 when we got her. My friends uncle had found these tiny new born kittens in a hole on the back of his property and the neighbors dog was trying to eat them . He looked for the mother and could never find her so he tried to find homes for them. I remember running as fast as I could home because I was so afraid someone else was going to take the little gray one I needed with all my heart. We nursed her and she became the perfect cat for me. She was my baby. Her personality was so amazing and exactly what I needed out of a pet. She gave me so much joy. I am devastated as a write this. On January 14 2015 ,she died. She wasn't sick or old. I have so much guilt surrounding this. The night before, on 1/13/14 she slept with me in my bed . Around 3:00 am I woke up to her about to barf on my duvet, so I quickly put her off my bed so she would barf on the floor instead. It wasn't unusual for her to barf because she would often try to over eat (she was a bit of a Piggie) . I was pissed so I put her out of my room. About 8 am I heard her scratching to get in, but I didn't get up. A little while later I went out to run some errands. I came home and was down stairs for about 2 hours. My mom went upstairs to take a shower when she called me to come upstairs in a tone that I will never forget. I knew something was wrong but I never expected it to be my baby. We have another cat that is 18 years old so I am more prepared for her death. My baby was laying on the bathroom floor . She just looked like she was sleeping but she had a red eye. There was nothing around that she could have eaten and no vomit or anything around her. I feel so depressed and guilty because what if I missed something. All she wanted was to cuddle that morning by I couldn't be bothered to get my stupid ass out of bed. I feel this guilt weighing on me coupled with the anxiety of not having her with me anymore. Did I miss something ?????? What if I could have saved her ?? My mom thinks it may have been a stroke or a brain aneurism , but I just feel guilty for not cuddling that last day. Was I wish I had never gone out. Maybe I could have saved her. That was her last memory of me and I can't forgive myself. Anyone who has felt this way. How did you cope?

[Jayjay2015]

Aww I'm so sorry to hear about your cat pigeon .... It is very difficult to come to terms with the loss off an animal , just like you I lost my 11 month old cat , he was all well one minute then very ill the next ... He died off pancreitis , the vet never knew he had it until it was basically too late ...He died during the operation with a heartattack ,

I myself was riddled with guilt as I never noticed the signs that he was ill until it was basically killing him , everything went through my head ," what if ".

After he died , all I done was think about things that he was doing prior to dying , did he eat something he shouldn't have , etc and you can go on and on .....

It's very difficult to know there's something wrong with a cat because they they hide pain and often never show any symptoms off being ill until it's too late or it's done them a lot off damage

What I have learned from this is if a cat dosent eat for 24 hrs or has diorearah and seems quiet in themselves ,

Better to take them to the vet just to have a check up ...

Please don't punish yourself with guilt , it will take time to come to terms with the loss off pigeon , maybe get yourself another kitty although it'll never replace her ....

I still cry at night sometimes for my wee ollie ... And I think I always will ..I just loved him as if he was my baby . And I have another 2 cats but it's the individual personalities there all different .... Jackie x

They all have

[Deeders]

It happened so fast. She was acting normal and then she was gone. That is why I am so confused. I looked everywhere and there is nothing that she could have eaten. Nothing around where she lay. I would have taken her to the vet if I had noticed anything. she barfed once but it wasn't unusual because she was a glutton . we would have feed her in small portions otherwise she would make herself sick. I really loved her ...more than I love most people.

[dave_hurd]

It hurts beyond belief. I was writing you a message and it was long then I hit wrong key and lost whole message!  I am also in severe pain , still crying everyday... so much grief and guilt. I don't think  you did anything that caused pigeons passing but that does not make pain less for you.

I am really guilty. Had two cats that were also found outside, adopted them both - Sarah and Sasha.  Lost Sasha, let her out and she was gone one long winter of 2010 and then one day in late Feb 2011 she showed up at door and i got her inside again... then one day I tested her to see if she would go out and come back as I think they are happier being indoor/outdoor and She ran, she stopped and looked at me but never came back!! Talk about guilt!!  The i had Sarah until the past October 30, 2014... and I blame myself for her passing and am crying  everyday since.

Pain Pain Pain..not sure if I will ever be rigth again.  Trying to adopt another cat or maybe two, but that won't help my pain over sarah and sasha..

I may feel better for helping rescue cats from shelter...but My dear Sarah and Sasha were a once in a lifetime chance... Sarah was my soul mate cat and Sasha didn't deserve to be tested.. Eventually Sarah became indoor/outdoor and to see her joy and running like lightning and  climbing tree and then she was able to get down too... But I didn't protect her properly ... from ticks and fleas..was using natural oils instead of approved meds and she got blood parasite..that stressed her little immune system and brought out a type of leukemia and She went downhill and i have heartbreaking images in my mind.  I dont' know if I will recover.. my mom says I should go to see doctor.. I don't know what doctor can do!! I would like to go maybe to pet loss grief group but there are none close by.. God help us.

[Poliex3]

I know how you feel. I wish I can just hug you because at this moment i need a hug too my adorable parrot died too  

[Deeders]

Poliex3. I'm sorry for your loss too! Its so hard. I definitely need a hug. It really sucks .

[Poliex3]

Yes it really does some people don't understand that a pet isnt just a pet, they are like family who give unconditional love no matter what. Im finally alone in the house and let me tell you, its the worst feeling Ive ever experienced. Sometimes it's hard for me to even breathe, it just hurts too much. Now I really do feel all alone it's been 6 days already & i dont know if I will ever be able to get through this.