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Euthanized my sick cat - anxiety attacks


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I had Jake for 15 years. He and his brother were my companions for many years. I am married with three kids now, but when I was younger I came home to an apartment with these two tuxedo cats. 


Jake started getting really thin last summer. I took him to one vet and spent $700 to not know what was going on. Went back in and spent another $300 to hear it was cancer or IBD. Put him on prednisone. 


Called the vet a quack and went to a better vet. She told me hyperthyroid and came up with plan of attack. Then I get a phone call - no thyroid enzymes at all - the cat is toast. Lymphoma probably. 


I buy a ton of nutrical paste and start cooking him fish, hamburgers, bacon grease - desperately try to plump him up a bit. It got worse. He started puking every night multiple times. His body could not process food well and he was basically starting to starve even though he got fed like crazy.


I took him in last Friday. Vet said she would support euthanasia. They said they found a tumour in his heart. My heart was breaking,  I could wait she said as he was not really in much pain just unhappy, but I'd be back soon.


I told her to do it and she gave me 10 minutes to be with him. They did a sedative. Jake sort of hunched over and put his head down. I cried and the top of his head got wet I was crying so bad. I told him he was a loyal friend. I loved him. Most of all, I thanked him for being in my life. 


His cat pupils got really big and he was totally out of it.  He went to sleep. I was so messed up the vet asked me if I'd stay in the room and they'd take him in the back to give him the needle. The vets were crying, there were tissues everywhere.  They said "Some guys come in and say 'I'm moving so put the cat down.' But  this guy (points at me) is at the other end of the spectrum. Here is a man who bonded to his cat."



When they took him back I let out this weird sound - it was anguish or something. I guess it flipped out people in the waiting room.


I was calm when I left and I got through the weekend with the kids. It's easy when the kids are there as I consider them first.

Sisko his brother knows something is up. He is super clingy so I spent most of the weekend in bed with him when not out with the kids. 


Now I am worried Sisko might get sick and I am thinking about having him into the vet to get checked. 


At work today I find myself having anxiety attacks about poor Jake. I've been crying a bit and just I miss him now.


I went out on the weekend and bought a bunch of computer **** like iPad Air 2s for the wife and I even though we already have 4th gen. Usually I am uptight about money but I could not give a **** at all right now. 



Thanks for reading



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I am very sorry about the loss of your precious Jake. What a beautiful cat. I have two tuxedo cats--Sophie and Minnie. I had a beautiful Himalayan named Bob who has a twin sister named Mia. Bob got sick and died two years ago. I was worried sick about Mia soon following, but she is absolutely as healthy as can be. Sisko should be okay, but contact the vet if you are that worried.


We will be here for you,


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On June 27th my cat was euthanized by the Vet. I have also been having a lot of anxiety and uncontrollable crying at times. 2 years ago I brought home my sweet cat Tigger from an overcrowded animal facility she was no longer eating there and was underweight. When I brought her home she started eating again and thriving, and was very healthy after a week. She was the most loving sweet cat and I miss her so much. She died of kidney failure and started suffering and I hurt to see her in that condition, my heart is broken but it was the right thing to do, even though it was very hard for me to let her go. When I adopted her she was 9 years old, she only lived to 11 years. I have felt comforted by all the other people who have shared their experiences with me of the loss of a loving cat, I feel less alone.

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I had to put my beautiful cat of 18 years to sleep yesterday. She was with me since she was 8 weeks old.. She too had kidney failure and there was nothing they could do for her. I cried like a baby, the pain that I was in was uncontrollable. My heart is so broken - I was with her to the end patting her and thanking her for being in my life for such a long time as she was getting the needle... I stayed with her for a little while afterwards and I too howled like a crazy woman...

I just can't believe what had happened, I'm in shock and i just can't stop crying.. I cried all night. My place is so quiet without her here.

It's only been a day since she went to sleep but I miss her so much, I can't believe that she is gone and I can't believe that I will never see her or hear her or hug her again... How on earth will I cope without my love? This pain is so unbearable I feel like a zombie. I just miss her so much.

How does one cope with such pain?

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