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Daddy


iluxox

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Hello my name is Kaitlyn i am 15 and i have just lost my father on febuary 26 2009  just 19 days ago to a  pulmonary embolism he also sufferd from bladder  cancer which spread through out his body his death was very quick  so i find the pain and relizaton comes in shock waves  one minute im fine the next i am  crying my father was so wonderful he was always doing what was best for me he was always there even though in the end we were not as close for when he was sick i found i pushed myself away which i regret very much i should have been pulling myself closer to him he was so srong he was in pain 24/7 but always played it off like he was fine  he has taught me so much in life and has been the best father i could have asked for but right now i find it very hard to think of whats coming what life will belike later without him here he was always in the picture everything i see reminds me of him nothing is the same he was not ready to go he wanted so bad to be here which i find is unfair  he tried so hard to stay with us  but i know he is in  no pain anymore i miss him so much i wanted him so bad to be here to see me get married see  my kids and everyhing i would go through to help when i needed him  i miss my daddy so much and will love him forever i will always be his little girl

 

Kaitlyn

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Kaitlyn,  I'm so sorry you lost your dad........it must be especially difficult losing him while you are so young and still had so many things to share with one another.  It is very normal to pull away from someone who is dying,  it is an autopilot response to protect yourself, so please don't feel guilty about it.  I know your dad knew how much you cared for him and understands the pain you went through too.  Do what you can to keep the good memories in the forefront , and focus on that-  that is what is getting me through.  I lost my dad on feb. 20,  and miss him alot too.  when someone loves you as much as our dads did both of us,  their love doesn't die-  i feel it around me every single day like a warm hug.  take care, jen

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Hi Kaitlyn, I too lost my father when I was 15 -- that was 33 years ago. It's a horrible thing to have to go through at any age, but 15 is an especially horrible age to deal with it...it really affected my for years afterwards and I made some pretty bad choices in my life because of it. The best thing I can tell you is not to feel bad for anything you did or didn't do before he died -- he knows you loved him. And most of all don't go looking for a man to replace him because none ever will and you will only hurt yourself.

You will never get over his death but you will learn to live with it.

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