Members mattsmum Posted February 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 I decided to set this forum up for parents who have been grieving for more than 3 years - perhaps sharing strategies for coping so that newly bereaved parents can access this as well.The Grief Journey after child-loss is never ending, as long as we are living - but as the years pass, the pain does soften and we learn to adapt around our loss. Of course the missing never goes away and we still do have very bad days where the pain of our loss hits us like a ton of bricks.I would love for other parents who are further along in their Grief Journey to join, so that we can share our stories and give hope to those who are new to this dreadful path that we have to walk.HugsGerry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted February 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 GerryHope you will consider joining us at the BI Reunion. I realize you are on a different continent, but I would be glad to show you around the area and would love to get to know you better.Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mattsmum Posted February 26, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 [user=20150]shorty16[/user] wrote: GerryHope you will consider joining us at the BI Reunion. I realize you are on a different continent, but I would be glad to show you around the area and would love to get to know you better.Colleen, Brian's Mother ForeverColleen, that is a wonderful thought, but sadly I cannot be there. the 14th of August is Matt's anniversary date and we always remember him as a family. Thank you for the thought, it has touched my heart. But I will be around on the forum and be thinking of you all. I am sure it will be a wonderful time.Gerry x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members adamsmom Posted February 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 Gerry,So glad to see you have opened this forum for us "older" grieving parents. I check in on the other forums each day, but have posted very few times, because like you, I felt that they were all friends and since I am almost twelve years into my grief, I just didn't fit there. I do have the cheat sheet for all the parents on the other forum, but since I only get on the internet during the week at work, I have laid low so to speak and just prayed for each one that was having a bad day. It's hard to work and keep up with all the conversations, so I just felt this was my way of contributing to their journeys.Each of us are on this journey that we never asked for and even if at times we don't believe it, we will learn to live again, without our precious children. I miss Adam as much today as I did the first year, that never changes, but I know in my heart that he is proud of how far I have come today.Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say hi and to thank you for starting a place I feel at home in..Always...Pat....Adam's Mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mattsmum Posted February 27, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 [user=25004]adamsmom[/user] wrote: Gerry,So glad to see you have opened this forum for us "older" grieving parents. I check in on the other forums each day, but have posted very few times, because like you, I felt that they were all friends and since I am almost twelve years into my grief, I just didn't fit there. I do have the cheat sheet for all the parents on the other forum, but since I only get on the internet during the week at work, I have laid low so to speak and just prayed for each one that was having a bad day. It's hard to work and keep up with all the conversations, so I just felt this was my way of contributing to their journeys.Each of us are on this journey that we never asked for and even if at times we don't believe it, we will learn to live again, without our precious children. I miss Adam as much today as I did the first year, that never changes, but I know in my heart that he is proud of how far I have come today.Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say hi and to thank you for starting a place I feel at home in..Always...Pat....Adam's Mom Hi PatSo glad you popped by. I so agree with what you have said about the missing. It just never goes. Like you, I think of my son every day - and like you as well, I am amazed at myself realising how far I have come.It is wonderful that we have survived - I know my son before he died, was scared that I might 'do something stupid.' I promised him that I wouldn't, but it has crossed my mind from time to time.Drop by when you can, and if you can at any time, share some memories of Adam and also any tips you can pass on to those who are newly bereaved, about coping and things that have helped you to get through really black days.Gerry x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members adamsmom Posted February 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 Gerry,I would be glad to offer as much help as I possibly can for all the newcomers to this new way of living. This isn't an easy journey, but it can be mastered (not accepted) in time ...lots and lots and lots of time.You said that your Matt was afraid that you would do something "stupid" and that it had actually crossed your mind, well, I've been there also. I wanted to be with Adam so badly but the one thing that kept me from doing anything stupid, was his sister Candi, as she put it to me the day of his funeral, "I'm still here Mom, I still need you"..and she was right, as much as I was hurting, how could I let her down?? Such a roller coaster we're on, that we have to ride over and over again.But, thank you for being so gracious and I will come back as often as I can and post some pointers for the new ones and share stories about Adam. I still love to talk about him after all these years..He's still around, he's always in my heart...Always...Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mattsmum Posted February 27, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 [user=25004]adamsmom[/user] wrote: Gerry,I would be glad to offer as much help as I possibly can for all the newcomers to this new way of living. This isn't an easy journey, but it can be mastered (not accepted) in time ...lots and lots and lots of time.You said that your Matt was afraid that you would do something "stupid" and that it had actually crossed your mind, well, I've been there also. I wanted to be with Adam so badly but the one thing that kept me from doing anything stupid, was his sister Candi, as she put it to me the day of his funeral, "I'm still here Mom, I still need you"..and she was right, as much as I was hurting, how could I let her down?? Such a roller coaster we're on, that we have to ride over and over again.But, thank you for being so gracious and I will come back as often as I can and post some pointers for the new ones and share stories about Adam. I still love to talk about him after all these years..He's still around, he's always in my heart...Always...Pat Looking forward to hearing about your son and also anything else you would like to share....as your daughter so rightly said, there is always somebody that needs our love and care...that is why I took the hard way out, I decided to live and carry on for my family's sake.Gerry x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members adamsmom Posted February 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 27, 2009 Truer words have never been spoken...we took the hard way out....Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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