Where to start?

[hurtingdad]

It has now been a week since my 2 year old daughter died suddenly.  I just dont know where to start.  I feel angry one minute and happy the next.  I want to get back to work and I dont.  I want to talk to people but I dont think anyone will understand.   I am in the Denver Area. 

I am specifically asking for other fathers who have lost young children how what they did to begin to heal.

Thank you.

[mikesmum]

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby daughter.  There is no 'guide' to this journey, no timeline either.

We have one dad who post here under Loss of an Adult Child.  Greg's insight, support and compassion is something that has helped many with their journey. 

I hope you are able to come here as often as you need, post if you can and share your daughters story. 

Take Care Trudi.

 

[briansdad]

Hurtingdad,

I know the pain but I don't know the loss of the future your having to deal with.My son Brian was 24.Even though he died young I still had the joy of his 24 years. I guess that's the way you need to try to look at your baby's loss.I'd like to know her name if you want to PM me feel free. Here are a couple of links that may help you.

http://www.bpusastl.org/images/InfantToddler.pdf

http://www.bpusastl.org/images/IN%20THE%20BEGINNING-01-03-06.pdf

The other most inprotant thing you can do is to take care of yourself.Don't rush to do anything.Do what you heart tells you to do and not well meaning family or friends.Last don't look too far ahead if you have to break it down to minutes then do it.If you make to tomorrow then you have accomplished alot. I know just getting up and taking a shower was a milestone for me.

Take Care we are here for you.

[shorty16]

Hurting Dad

We are all here for you.  You are alone in this jouney.  My son was 16 when he was killed in a senseless car-surfing accident.  It is 8 months today since he left this Earth.

At this short of time after the death of your daughter, you are still in shock.  When people would ask me how I was doing at that early stage.  I would respond tow ways.

1.  I am standing upright and breathing.

2. I am every emotion all the time.  By the time I tell you how I feel, I feel something else.

I really thought I was loosing my mind.  Work has helped me to think of something else if even for a minute or two.

Talk about your daughter - We want to hear about her.  We are all walking this path together, please post and visit often here.  You will find compassion and understanding with us.

Colleen  Brian's Mother 

[mattsmum]

[user=27461]hurtingdad[/user] wrote:

It has now been a week since my 2 year old daughter died suddenly.  I just dont know where to start.  I feel angry one minute and happy the next.  I want to get back to work and I dont.  I want to talk to people but I dont think anyone will understand.   I am in the Denver Area. 

I am specifically asking for other fathers who have lost young children how what they did to begin to heal.

Thank you.

I am just so sorry for your loss - I do not even know how you are feeling at this moment, but like everyone else on here, we have all lost a child at some point in time.  Grief is like a journey, some like me, have been on this journey for some time, whilst others like yourself, are new to it.  Your grief is so new and raw at the moment, there will be so many different emotions that you will be feeling, at times, it will feel like you are going crazy, because grief after losing a child, feels like that.  It is like nothing you have ever felt before.

I really hope that another father can write back to you - but there are so many people on this forum who can give you support at this time.

People will understand, those who have gone through what you are going through at the moment - to lose a child is the worst thing that can happen to a parent, it is the parent's worst nightmare.  At this point in time, I would only ask that you listen to what your heart is telling you.  If you want to do something, do it, if not don't - be kind to yourself.  Your body, heart and soul has been through something dreadful - there is no right or wrong way to grieve.  I just hope you have loved ones around you that can support you.

Gerry x

[nicksdad]

[user=27461]hurtingdad[/user] wrote:

It has now been a week since my 2 year old daughter died suddenly.  I just dont know where to start.  I feel angry one minute and happy the next.  I want to get back to work and I dont.  I want to talk to people but I dont think anyone will understand.   I am in the Denver Area. 

I am specifically asking for other fathers who have lost young children how what they did to begin to heal.

Thank you.

First, I am a father and I am sorry for your loss. We lost our son and even tho he was 21 this last August I am not sure if being young or a bit older really changes the way one feels.

I understand the feelings about going to work and not wanting to work. I was fortunate where they allowed me to do basically whatever I wanted. I actually came back to week a bit early I guess because I only would last about an hour or two and then have to leave. But, in time now I am fully back at work. It does not stop me from thinking all the time throughout the day but I at least can make it thru a work day.

As far as talking to people I won't. I understand that everyone wants to be supportive but if they have not gone thru it then it's hard for them to understand vice just saying what they beleive are acceptable sayings i.e. "It will get better"....

I have found only talking to my immediate family or these types of forums are the only way I can convey any feelings I might have. I go to the cemetary alot and just sit and talk with my son and that is really the only time I actually feel good inside.

Dan

nicholashand.memory-of.com

http://www.NeverLoseFaith.com