Mom dating man from affair after dad's death

[khc051013]

Hi,

I am 24, and just lost my dad back in October, and out of all of my siblings, he and I were the closest. I moved back home a while ago when I found out I was pregnant and he was really there for me since he was retired.

For a long time before my dad's death I suspected my mom of having an affair with her boss of 15 years. He has always been friends with the family, but now suddenly she is finding excuses to stay out later than normal, doing things like going to see movies and not saying who with, and she even let him bring a Christmas present for my daughter over to the house on Christmas morning. So my suspicion was heightened. Then tonight at dinner, I saw a message from him pop up on her phone before she could hide it saying "I'll talk to your pretty face later".

I acknowledge that my mom and dad did not have the BEST relationship toward the end, mostly because my mom had problems of her own and seemed to quit trying, with the marriage and with the family. But that's a whole other story. It's all so frustrating because my mother seems so disconnected from my dad's death, and now I feel like she's going to go public with this other relationship soon.

[BaileyB]

As one who has experienced something very similar, I can say that it is really painful for the children when the parents move on so quickly after the death of a spouse. Your situation sounds even more complex. It impacted my grieving tremepndously when my father took down her pictures, stopped talking about my mom, and started a new relationship just a few months after my mother died. Unfortunately, it is her decision and she will deal with the consequences of that decision. There is not much you can do about the situation except take care of yourself. I would suggest that you find someone to talk to in the coming months, it's quite a lot to process. Take care.