how am i supposed to live now?

[Jill Austin]

Hello

My name is Jill and I'm 25 years old orphan.

My mom died suddenly 2 years ago ,she was the best mom anyone can ask for . she raised us to believe in ourselves and to do what makes us Happy. I was away with my ex-husband and at the evening of the 6th /oct/2012 I had a call from my brother to tell me she was on the ICU, while i was preparing myself to travil my brother called me again to tell me she's fine and she's home and I have to see her ..

The second i arrived home and found everyone crying my brain kinda snapped and I couldn't believe it .. I had a panic attack and my ex was there telling me that I have no one now but him then everything went black ...

Since that day nothing is the same .. I dropped out of college , I got divorced after a couple of days , I cut off everyone and I spent the following year at home ..

This year I had decided to get back to college and i did but the thing is nothing has any meaning to it, i've lost my interests and passion , nothing matters anymore.. I think of her every minute of everyday even after two painful years .. I can't shake this emptiness inside of me ..

What am i suppose to do without my mom ?!

Ps: my dad died when i was 5 so he wasn't part of my life really :/

[sadkat55]

I know exactly how you are feeling my mom died 6 months ago and my dad 19 years ago. I have one brother who lives far away and we hardly talk. I am married but my husband doesn't understand why I am so list and cry all the time.the only thing that helps me is staying really busy and walking a lot,I wish I had someone who would know what I'm feeling.I hope you can get busy and keep your mind off the sad thoughts that's what I'm trying to do.

[hologram]

I know how you feel. I lost my mother about 2 months ago. She was my only close family and the remaining family is strangers. It was us against the world. I was very isolated for many years. I am in the middle of huge transition period from about to graduate and finding a job. Now my world feels shattered. She was always my main support and grace in difficult situations in my studies and life in general. I feel so alone and I am afraid. My self-confidence is gone. My studies is not going super,.. and that wouldn't have been the end of the world before. If things wouldn't work out we still had each other and we would find something else. Now life feels meaningless. I am not sure I can gradate now. I need a couple more months of writing thesis and I am out of funding soon. Have never worked a real job except within academia which is soon ending. I am so afraid and scared of doing anything... panic and stuff. I don't know what to do. The worst thing is the silence. Not being able to speak to her anymore. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I have never been this sad before.