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Little Things


laurielblack

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    Tonight, I spent some time helping my 7 year old create his pumpkin for the "Pumpkins on Parade" at his school tomorrow night.  I had no idea how incredibly hard it would be on me to do this.  You see, this was always Byron's thing.  He's helped all three boys create their pumpkins each year.  He's helped them build R2-D2, Mike from Monsters Inc., spaceships, apples with worms, spiders, and all sorts of other creations.  He spent days and days on them, and they were always spectacular.  I've put it off until the last second, and have done a half-wit job of it, but we made it through and have a butterfly pumpkin for him to take to school tomorrow.  My son seems happy enough with it, but I know it's nothing compared to what his daddy could have helped him create.  He's the youngest and this is the last year any of them will have a pumpkin contest at this particular school, so it's the end of an era.  Maybe I'm just hormonal or overly emotional, but this is just so hard.  If I can't even make it through Halloween, how on Earth can I face Thanksgiving or Christmas?:(

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laurie..I don't know if I envy you having a little one there to keep your mind occupied...or if I feel better  living like i am.. alone now..our kids are raised..and out of the nest...don't know how I would handle all the things the little one's need with out my husband...My best wishes to you ...and getting through the upcoming holidays..that I use to love but now can't stand the thoughts of..  are going to be rough on all of us ..Wish I could be more helpful  too you and the rest on this board...but I'm getting no where fast...Take Care...

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I totally understand what you are feeling. But you were strong enough to go through the motion of Halloween. I just couldn't do that. My husband passed away Oct. 4, 2007. It is so fresh, and I too can't seems to see myself going through the holidays. I have enough difficulty just trying to get through the day. But I have to lovely children who make sure I have plenty of kisses and hugs. And it never fails they seem to ask of me, like "what are you cooking for dinner tonight?" It is a reminder that some things we have no choice but to do. But I realize the huge role he played in our everyday life with all the little things he done and made enjoyable. I'm still early in my grief, but I'm finding comfort in my family and friends. I'm glad I found this site. My prayers go out to you.

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Little Things

WoW!  I know there are still many things left in my life to appreciate, but sometimes the deep sadness almost makes it too foggy to be able to see any.    I am happy for the 37 years I was able to have with my husband, but I wanted more and more.

I am 16 months out and somedays its like the first month.   Is this really how our lives were meant to go?  Did we make a wrong choice along the way and it turned us into this disaster?     In OUR life; we did make a wrong choice.   Tim went to Viet Nam so very many years ago and that is what ate up most of his adult life and what finally killed him. . . . .I love him like there is no words to express it. . . .But, damn life for everyone has moved on. . . .What is mine suppose to entail?

Thoughtfully,

GrannyCheryl

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