Members ribitsmom Posted December 30, 2008 Members Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 I have read through the most resent posts and it makes my heart ache; so many parents losing a child. I wish this pain on no one and feel so awful for those that are new to BI. I have not been to the site for quite some time, in fact it has a completely new look and I forgot my password and I can now post a photo of Bridgette, my daughter, technoligy is amazing.We lost our daughter in an accident on Sept. 26, 2003; she was involved in a car/train accident with 3 others, all 4 lost their lives that night. We obtained a lawyer within the first 2 weeks after the accident and have finally gone to court, won the veridict and damage awards were the highest our state has ever seen for a wrongful death; none of which helps. I was so excited when the jury found in our favor; to me it meant that our children had been vindicated, but as time goes by and the Rail Road plays the games that they have played throughout the last 5 years, along with the games that the attorny's they hired have been playing, we find ourselves in the same spot we were in 5 yrs ago, defending our children. We proved that the kids did nothing wrong in court, we proved that they destroyed evidence, minipulated evidenece, lied on the stand and then they appeal. It took 5 yrs from the time of the accident to go to court, we win and they will keep us in appeals for another 5 yrs. When I first started coming to BI about 4 yrs ago or more I wondered if the lawyers for the RR would see my posts, and I was very careful with what I posted, which is a good thing, as I found out later that they read my posts, so be aware, those of you that are in the middle of a law suit, nothing is sacred. It is so sad that you can not even use a site like this to help you through your grief without watching each and every word you write. My daughter was 17 when we lost her in the accident and she would be 23 today if she had lived. For those of you that are new to the loss of a child, I am so sorry. If I can give you one thing to help you through your grief it is this; as time passes and you allow yourself to FEEL your child around you, things will get easier. You will never forget your child and you will get to a new kind of grief, it seems to go in fazes, the first year, thank God, you are numb and don't remember much, the second year feels like it should be the first year, the third year things finally start to "kick in" and you really realize that this is the way it will always be, I think this must be when you finally get into a groove with your grieving, because then you hit your fourth year and I think you finally learn to accept and move forward...how awful to put it into fazes like this, but what I have found talking to others is that it seems to be pretty universal with grieving parents. Talking to others helps more than I can say. To talk to another parent that has lost a child and understands is an amazing therapy for your grief. I didn't find group counseling helpful, as I wanted to spend the time talking about my daughter and my loss and within a group therapy you need to share the time with others. BI is a wonderful way to allow you to talk about your child, we have all been there and you can "talk" until your fingertips hurt. I obviuosly had a need to visit the site today and it is helpful still. After being absent from BI for a couple of years it amazes me that I can just jump in and purge. I will be back soon, I hope each one of you have a peaceful nights sleep, or at least as many hours as you can get and find a little peace in this upcoming year.Denise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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