I feel so lost

[lost-soul]

I feel a bit guilty posting on here since so many of you have been with your partners for so long. I was only with my boyfriend for about 10 months before he suddenly died. I'm 22 years old and my boyfriend was 21 years old when he passed away 4 months ago in a car accident. But he was more than my boyfriend, he was my best friend, my motivator, and my protector. We used to live together which makes this process even harder. I know I'm young but we had huge plans together, I knew that he would be the man I would marry and he admitted the same to me. We planned to finish college and then see how things were from there. I am still very close to his family and spent Thanksgiving with them. It's still tough and I cry almost every other day but I feel guilty mostly because his mother must be having a harder time than I am. His mother and I are very much alike in that we don't like talking about his death. We both held his hand at the moment of his passing. Others have already started assuming that I'm "over it." I don't I'll ever be able to "get over this" and I also can't imagine feeling this way for another person again. I miss him terribly. 

[sim-law]

No guilt is involved with your participation on this site and the fact that you two were only together for 10 months is not relevant to the depth of you loss. I am so sorry that you lost your boyfriend so suddenly and all of us here understand exactly what you are going through. Because your relationship was so short is in itself a cause for sadness, I was married for 12 years and this seems a very short time for me and I wish it could have been so much longer. 

 

Do not feel guilty that his mother is having a harder time than you, the relationship was different and so was the loss, and you both loved him  just as much.

 

You will never get over your loss but you will get through it. Do not listen to people who think you should just get over it, I am sure if you know them you will see that they have never had the loss of a partner who they loved so they can not possibly understand.

 

Peace and hope

 

Simon 

[Leisurely]

Your always going to remember him. He is a serious part of your history. People who think another person is over a tragic loss like yours

are not able to make that judgement for you. 

 

I send you my heartfelt sadness for this sudden loss.

I pray in whatever time it takes for you, eventually peace will come to you.

 

A friend also hurting,

Leisurely