Lost of my mother coming up on (2) Years

[CHRISTINE111583]

Hello, This is the first time I have ever done this on 1/29/2013 I lost my mom very suddenly of a blood clot that went into her lungs and caused a massive hear attack, I was the strong one who dealt with the funeral proceedings and rarely cried not that I didn't want to but because I thought I had to be the strong one. A month after her passing I started getting anxiety/panic attacks I was put on Lexapro that helped a little bit and I thought I was going to be ok and I went off of them recently with in 2 months they have started up again and I don't know what to do I never had them until my  mom passed away, I am going to a psychologist and the past 2 weeks have gone on Effexor it has helped a little but I still have this dread of what if I die tomorrow, It was so bad I went and had all these test done and they all came back normal. I just don't know what to do my mom was my rock and I don't know how to deal, I have 2 little boys 10&3 and I want to enjoy my time with them I just don't know how when I all I can think about is doom and cloom??? has anyone else have this happen? any insight would be much appreciated :)

[cindyjane]

Hi Christine, I am so sorry for your loss and that you're having problems with anxiety.  I lost both parents in less than a year and have gone through so many feelings, anxiety being one of them but I have always been able to talk myself through them.  When the sadness would hit, I'd look at all of the blessings in having them for parents.  When the anger hit, I would realize that it was because I missed them so much.  When the anxiety surfaced, I would see it for what it was ... the unsettled feeling that comes when I realize that I really am on my own.  Then I remember what both of my parents would want.  For me to carry on with life until we meet again, when it is my turn to go "home."  

 

The thing that has helped me the most get through it all was my faith.  I always believed in God but never really felt connected but after losing my parents the only thing that brought me real comfort was when I prayed and asked for it.  I've been told by people that most people reach out to Him when we are going through really tough times and that was the case for me and ever since I reached out, I've been able to get through all of the emotions and feelings around losing my parents.

 

Not sure if this helps, just sharing what really helps me.  Take care....you are not alone.

 

Cindy Jane