Lost mother and marriage in the same month

[prairiemary]

My elderly mother had been very ill in hospice care for over six months.  I was emotionally very close to my mother.  I absolutely adored this woman.  She lived in another state, but I was able to go to her on two extended visits to help with her care.  This was a difficult time to say the least.  Three weeks before she passed away, my husband and father of my two children walked out on the marriage.  I was absolutely blind-sided by this action. He stated that he was unhappy and I was unhappy and therefore he was ending the marriage.  Well, for six months I had been stressed i.e. unhappy and not too concerned with his happiness, but I thought a twenty-seven year marriage could weather the storm.  Several weeks after my mother's funeral, I discovered that he has another woman.  I now believe that this affair had been taking place while I was away caring for my mother. 

 

I am now involved in a divorce in which I feel I will get totally screwed in the same manner as the marriage ended with complete disregard for my well being.  In two months, I have lost 30 pounds.  I cannot stop crying.  The grief I feel for the loss of my mother is entwined in the anger and pain over this complete upheaval in my life.  I am gripped with fear over my future and the future of my children.  They are teenagers, but I still need to be able to care for them.  I do not have family close by, and I feel completely alone.  The pain is too much and I do not know what to do. 

[cindyjane]

Hugs Mary ... I am so sorry for the loss of your dear mother.  It is so sad that you also have to deal with what was going on with your husband.  I never could understand how someone can kick a person when they are already down, but sadly it happens.  

 

The main thing now is that you focus on yourself and your children.  Take care of YOU, and your children will get through this storm a lot easier.  I believe that you will all get through this difficult time ... we are stronger than we think.  I am no divorce lawyer but usually it is the unfaithful person in a marriage who doesn't do well in the settlement.  Especially given your situation you were going through during his cheating.  I would think that this would be taken into consideration when deciding on the settlement.

 

Take care and God bless you with comfort during this trying time.

Cindy Jane