Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Why can't I cry?


Smuze

Recommended Posts

  • Members

Hi. My father passed away in his sleep a couple of weeks ago. He was old, but relatively healthy, and it was a shock, tho I have to be honest that when I first heard " he can't be woken" I hoped he wouldn't be semi paralysed, bed ridden and frightened. He was a truly great man, a war hero who was very well beloved and respected. I loved him more than I can start to say. My mother went to bits. I arranged everything long distance and we had the funeral a couple of days ago ... it went very smoothly, very well. I watched cousins and neighbours in floods of tears. I cannot understand why I cannot have a proper cry. I cry at dog good commercials on the TV for heavens sake! I think I might have been waiting til the funeral was over, but now it is. I have a constant lump in my throat, but I just cannot let it go and cry.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi Smuze ... I am so sorry for your loss.  I wouldn't be too concerned about your lack of tears right now.  It sounds like you're feeling grateful right now and seeing all of the blessings around your dad's life and his passing.  You mentioned that he lived a long life and was healthy for the most part.  Those are blessings and reasons to feel grateful.  Also, he wasn't bed ridden and frightened.  More blessings.  You had a great relationship with him with lots of love ... more blessings.  Maybe that is why the tears aren't flowing right now.  There may come a time in the future that you have some good cries over this loss ... until then keep on appreciating all of the blessings.  That is what got me through the loss of both of my parents.  Take care and remember that we all different and that means we get through things differently.  There is no time frame or no set rules on grieving .... just go with whatever your feelings bring.  Take care

 

Cindy Jane

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thanks Cindy. I guess I am focusing on the positives .. he had a long, active and useful life, he was well loved and respected, he made a tangible difference to so many people. He died as he wanted to, in his sleep, and just before his 91st birthday .. we had a huge family party for his 90th, and held the wake in the same room. His funeral was as much about celebrating the man and his achievements ... it went well, and I hope we did him proud. He had no spiritual beliefs, although he was very firmly of the mind,"Do unto others as you would they do unto you". I had been wondering how I'd react when he passed away. I just feel as if I should be overwhelmed with grief and tears. At the moment I guess I feel wistful and loving.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Are you accepting the fact or in denial? My grandmother passed away when she was in her nineties. She had a good life and was very healthy and alert until the last minute. But as soon as I heard about the news, tears just ran down my face and I feel my heart was aching. Same and greater feelings for my dad who was gone a year ago. Sometimes I still can't believe that my dad is not here. No matter how old your love ones are, it's a part of you that's gone. It should hurt!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hi again Smuze

 

It sounds like you and your family celebrated your dad's life, he sounds like such a good man, I am sure he would be so happy about that.  What a blessing that his passing is just how he wanted it to be.  I believe that we get the comfort that we need when we can look beyond the heartache of our loss and see all of the blessings.  

 

In losing both parents in less than a year, for me the difficult challenge now is that I want to live a happy life as they did and be good people as they were.  I find this hard to do sometimes but will keep on trying in honour of them both.  

 

take care

Cindy Jane

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.