Members Sailormom Posted November 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 For many of us new here this will be our first thanksgiving, Christmas, hanukah, etc after our loss of our beloved children. Are we skipping holidays or we gonna try to put up decorations and stuff. I just cant make up my mind if I want to attempt it or not. I usually host Christmas for my husbands family of about 20. What. Are you going to try and do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mandy's mom Posted November 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 14, 2014 My dad passed away in 2004 and since then Christmas has been a small celebration with my husband and our 2 children. Before that we travelled out of state and spent the holiday with my siblings and their family. My son is turning 18 this month and I am going to do my best to celebrate Christmas for him. It will be hard without our daughter but I am going to try to make it special for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sailormom Posted November 14, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted November 14, 2014 Just finished addressing my Christmas cards, seemed strange leaving off his name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mandy's mom Posted November 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 14, 2014 Oh my gosh I didn't think about that. That is so sad. I don't know if I have it in me to write them this year . I still have to write thank you cards to people who sent gifts after my daughter died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sailormom Posted November 14, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted November 14, 2014 I wasnt sure if I could but I got thru it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mandy's mom Posted November 15, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 I'm glad you were able to do it. People will be happy to hear from you. Do you think you will decorate? We are going to put up a tree and a wreath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ldressle Posted November 15, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 I am planning on keeping the holidays very simple. Thanksgiving will just be me and my husband this year, small turkey and maybe my son's favorite dessert.Christmas is coming, just planning to send out a couple packages and cards. Will decorate outside as xmas lites are nice. But not sure about a tree or stockings seems too much to bear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sailormom Posted November 15, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 I normally decorate the whole house and have my husbands family here (about 22 people) on Christmas day. I normally put the tree up the day after thanksgiving. Right now not sure what I want to do, It's gonna be horrible no matter what I do. If I decorate I don't feel right not putting his stocking on the mantel and getting out his Christmas mouse that he got from Christmas around the world when he was 4 years old. This was at age 10 the day after Thanksgiving taking a break from getting all the Christmas stuff out and a picture from his last Christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Khyris_Mommy Posted November 15, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 I have zero desire to do anything "holiday" this year...she only got one Thanksgiving...she only had one Christmas...it doesn't feel like we should go on celebrating and enjoying without her. I do have another child though, so the decorations will eventually go up, the stockings will get hung, and I will bawl like a baby at the cemetary both Christmas Eve and Christmas day....I never thought I'd have to have holidays without one of my kids...and it just doesn't feel right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mylashes Posted November 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 16, 2014 I ll be with family in another state. Just going cuz I would probably snap, if I had to spend it alone.I just want everything to be over with the holidays..First one aft 8 yrs together. Miss him so so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members katibug98 Posted November 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 16, 2014 I'm going to do my best to do all of our normal things. I bought a small 3ft tree for the girls' room so that they can put some of Cora's ornaments on there. I will also do something at the cemetery, but I'm not sure what. All of my family is back east, so I'm not sure how we'll make the holidays work this year to be honest. I will figure it out as it comes I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sailormom Posted November 16, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted November 16, 2014 The small tree for the girls to decorate sounds so nice. Post pics for us to enjoy when they do. I think I will try to do things as normal this year cause if I don't I think I will be more depressed than if I didn't. The son's favorite dessert idea sounds wonderful !! Khyriss Mommy - I just don't know what to say - it is so unfair to loose such a young child.. and the holidays are all about young children which makes the whole holiday worse especially when your lose is so fresh. My prayers are with you this season. I would like to leave for the holidays and do something different but can't with work and husbands family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Khyris_Mommy Posted November 21, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 21, 2014 Thanks sailormom. She got one of every holiday and that's it, just makes it hard to not feel guilty about having them without her...my birthday was the day before her funeral and I told my family I didn't want it because it wasn't fair that I got 24 and she only had 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted November 21, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 21, 2014 Sailor Mom.....I still put John David's name on cards..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Margo60 Posted November 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 This thanksgiving was rough. I'm in a bad place. Some hours are good, some I'm puddle of mush on the floor feeling like I'm going to lose my mind (what does losing one's mind really mean???). My son's birthday is coming up in December, a few days before Xmas. We're planning a birthday party for him to celebrate his life. Nevertheless, I'm having a hard time. Again, what doesn't losing ones mind mean? The panic attacks have come back 10 fold this week. I hope I can make it through to Xmas, I can't wait for 2014 to be over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ChristyB123 Posted December 4, 2014 Members Report Share Posted December 4, 2014 I'm new here and still not very good with these posts, etc. Saw this topic and figured I'd reply. Since our close family now only consist of my mom, my fiance' and myself, we're thinking of just going to see a movie as none of us are really in the mood to celebrate anything this year. It's all too painful just to get through today, let alone celebrating Christmas without my only child, best friend, my future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted December 5, 2014 Members Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 Christy B.....a parent on the Loss of Adult Child named Lora....lost her amazing daughter Cara...so now...she and one of her sons go to the movies on Christmas Day.... some parents still have small children at home....some parents have adult children and GRANDchildren that 'need' the traditions to go on... with all the commercialism and hype and movies.....that tend to cater to 'all the wonderful' of the holidays....it is hard for a grieving parent to find that 'soft place to fall'.... and on Sept. 1st this year....I woke up with dark dread of the holidays this year..and wish we could just pole vault over them and land feet first in January.... it is a hard rock candy Christmas for many....The other day...I was thinking it would be a good idea to go and eat Chinese food on Christmas...like in the movie...why not ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sailormom Posted December 5, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted December 5, 2014 Margo - this Thanksgiving was rough was us to. We went to the brother n laws and hubby and I both cried on the way there and almost turned around and went back home. But we made it there and made it thru the day. Christy - I would love to spend Christmas day at a Movie so I could forget it was Christmas, Sounds like a great plan. Husbands parents are moving up in years so we will be with his parents, brothers and sisters,etc....I normally host the Christmas day but just can't do it this year so one of the sisters or sister n laws will have to step up and do it. I did good to get deviled eggs, and casserole made to take to Thanksgiving. I normally decorate every room in the house for Christmas but haven't attempted and not going too this year. We have no little ones around to do it for. No grandkids and the youngest niece is 21. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Khyris_Mommy Posted December 8, 2014 Members Report Share Posted December 8, 2014 Margo- I do not know what exactly losing ones mind means...but I would venture to guess that whatever it is, we've all come close...I wonder every day if I'm going crazy...just with some of the things I do, sleeping with her blanket, keeping one of her socks in my purse, writing her letters knwoing she can't read them...day to day life without her feels like losing my mind all the time...As for Christmas...we still have to do it for our 4 year old...it would devastate her to lose sissy and Santa in the same year </3 and it's so hard...I went and bought the tree to take to Khyri's grave today and completely fell apart...it's SO hard...I haven't even started Khaily's Christmas shopping yet because I don't know if I'll make it through without having a breakdown in the store...movies and Chinese would be soooo much more fun..at least for this year... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sailormom Posted December 8, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted December 8, 2014 Khyris mommy- I found myself lounging on my days off wearing his sweats and sweatshirts and not wanting to leave the house. Maybe a friend or relative can do your Christmas shopping for you, I don't want to venture out either to even try to shop, but I don't have to cause their are no little ones to shop for in our family. But slowly put one foot in front of the other and you can slowly get yourself to Christmas for your other child. Sometimes we need a reason to push ourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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