my soulmate died

[gold10tears]

When love finally came, it was everything I thought it would be. It was a perfect friendship that suddenly deepened into romantic love. Both of us being shy, it took a while for us to acknowledge our feelings. When we did, we were so pleased and happy. And shortly after that, he died. I carry every moment in my heart. The anniversaries recently started, and they are painful, yet also bring back sweet memories. As I grieve, I have realized that among my social group, only two people, whom I rarely see, have lost a beloved partner to death, and I have never witnessed any of my friends or family members mourning at length over the loss of a human being. Death is usually mentioned briefly, and "moving on" seems to be rushed. Certainly, everyone grieves in their own way and I respect that. So I have come here to share, and to find some comfort. As the holidays get closer, I am thinking of my love, and wishing he were here. I am able to experience joy, but he is always on my mind, and I wish I could share so much more of life with him.

[longhaul]

It is now the 15th anniversary of my husband's death, and you are absolutely right about everyone else rushing you to move on.  I am no longer crippled by grief and confusion and sadness, but even after this much time I miss him terribly and feel robbed of our lifetime together.  I hope you find some solace here around people who understand what you're going through.  The complex emotions of joy and sadness and confusion are a never-ending roller coaster but the peaks and valleys do subside and the memories become part of your inner core.  Be patient with yourself and feel free to post here as much and as long as you need.

[Mylashes]

How very true how people seem to rush grieving. This will be my first holiday without my fiancé of 8 yrs. Plus his bdyisI 3 wk bef Xmas. This is so hurtful& so hard.

[Mylashes]

Sorry for everyone's loss. I'm noticing a lot about people. And it seems people aren't comfortable with a person grieving. They don't have a clue . The calls stop, they don't seem to want to bring up ur loss. For me, I've noticed friends bring their problems to tlk about when they call. Yeah, they ask how I'm doing in the beginning of the call. Then off to blah blah blah. I don't wanna hear it. I cut conversations off, bottom line the conversation. I don't wanna hear it!I even had one person say the ultimate insensitive remark. Cuz she. knew I had a birthday bout 2wks ago, didn't know the date. I decided I Wznt gonna speak on it, just wntd to get thru the day. So cuz I wouldn't tell her the date, she tells me:"youre gonna have to shake this off! He's in a pain free place now. Its only our selfish needs tht want him here" Tht hurt. And would u believe she's a grief counselor for ten yrs. We live in diff startes. Glad she dznt lead my grief group. Needless to say, I hvnt spoken to her since.