Members danos Posted October 16, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 As the days get closer to the 3 year anniversary of my husband,I feel myself going into a mental shutdown. I wake up at night with dreams that are so real just like I am reliving that horrible morning. I feel myself blocking out everything, wanting to stay locked up in my house. I don't know what to do where to go. All I want to do is make the best life I can for my kids. But on days like I have been having it feels like I am failing them and my husband. Just lost right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HeyJude Posted October 17, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 I just can't even imagine trying to get past all this grief with young ones still at home. I would think that they would keep your mind off things but it is the opposite. It must be so hard to struggle with staying strong for the kids and having trouble doing that. I am so sorry. Can you maybe make it a day for the kids all about remembering their dad? Release some balloons, make something special that he loved?? Heck, I don't know. I am alone and have a hard enough time with that! My husband was in the hospital during all the fall/winter holidays so with them all coming up I have this feeling like I'm dragging my heels into the dirt trying to stop them from coming. I don't think I'll ever have a normal Christmas again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members danos Posted October 17, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 Yeah, they do keep me busy and my mind busy but, when they at school or at a friends it seems to get to me. We do celebrate relise ballons and all on his birthday and we do that on the anniversary of his death. The holidays last year was the first Christmas that I can say I enjoyed. Always enjoy them to see my kids face when they open their gifts but I know what you mean it's not the same and never will be. I still can not pull myself to make the foods and sweets that he liked during the holidays anymore. Just hoping that I am doing everything right for my kids. My son and I talk all the time about his dad and what his dad liked to do. He is my talker of his feeling. My daughter is more like me and hides her feelings and she always walks away when we start talking about him. I know thats not good just dont know how to get her to open up. I sent her to a camp for kids that are grieving someone and it seemed to help a little bit , but now she is getting into the pre-teens years and it seems that she holds more in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chyloe Posted October 19, 2014 Members Report Share Posted October 19, 2014 My husband passed on 24 June 2014. We've already had several "firsts" since his death - his birthday 4 days after he passed, Father's Day and my birthday. Christmas is going to be **** this year, as Christmas Eve will be 6 months since his journey ended. I miss him so much, as I know our sons do also. Our boys are 15 and 11 and now they don't have a dad. I hate this being a single mum thing also, I don't want to screw them up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members danos Posted October 21, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2014 I know what you mean. I am so scared that I screw up with my kids they are 11 & 7 they were 8 & 4 when my husband passed away. I can say it gets a little easier as the time passes but it is still hard to enjoy something when they are not there with us to celebrate. We always did a cake for my husband and daughter for their birthdays they are 4 days apart. She still wants to do it and that is hard to celebrate when he is not here with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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