New Here

[Shayspenc18174]

Hello and I am new here!  

 

Lately my life has been extremely sad.  My son Quentin Spencer died on July 15, 2014 at the age of 22. 

 

We have a remembrance fund going for him on indiegogo.com.

 

Quentin's death was a shocker to everyone, he was not feeling well and had flu like symptoms.

He went to the hospital for antibiotics on Sunday July 13.   After we spoke with doctors we we're told that he had Pneumonia, fluid in the lungs, bacteria in his blood, and something happening with his heart.    So they transported him to Sarasota Memorial on Sunday night.   Mike & I went up on Sunday night and visited with him.  At this point in time he was only on Oxygen.  During our visit Brittany & Allie were there also.  We visited with him until 8pm which was the visiting hours and told him we would be back in the morning.

The following morning we had a phone call at 5:30 am telling us that Quentin was being admitted to the ICU something was majorly wrong with his heart.  Nonetheless Mike & I were there in less than an hour coming from Port Charlotte.
Once we were there we spoke with the heart doctor and was told that Quentin was
majorly sick and was going thru some tests for his heart.    Around 9:30 am they
rushed Quentin into emergency surgery.    Now the doctor did state that most young patients would have a 1 in 400 chance to survive but unfortunately he stated Quentin has a 1 in 10 chance.  To be honest when I heard this I was saying to myself
ok these are still pretty good odds.   When they rushed Quentin into Surgery we did not find out until later that night around 10:15pm that Quentin flat lined on the way to surgery.    But they we're able to save him by hand pumping his heart for 1 1/2 hours.  So they went ahead and did the surgery but found out that Quentin had
severe damage to his heart and needed a bypass.  Quentin was able to survive the
by-pass surgery and was in recovery.  They also did put a temporary pace maker in his heart.   After 40 minutes he flat lined again and then they hand massaged his heart again for 1 hour and finally were able to move him back to ICU.   This surgery should of taken about 5 hours but lasted over ll hours.

Quentin returned back to ICU and we could only glance at him from a distance, all you literally could see was his nose.   Nonetheless the Doctors told us that he would be in a drug induced coma and to go home and get some sleep.

Ended up going back to the hospital first thing in the morning.  And pretty much was greeted by a chaplain that gave me the grim news.   Quentin's body was dying and it would be just a matter of time.   His organs were not working, his left leg
was completely black and blue and his right leg was starting to do the same and they also told us that his left eye was going back and forth under his eye lid which
was a sign of a stroke.  At this point in time there was absolutely nothing we could do.  He could not get a heart transplant because you have to have other working organs, he couldn't have his leg amputated because you have to have circulation and absolutely nothing  was working. 

After I was given the news we were totally crushed.   I couldn't even describe the
emotions I was going thru sad, angry, numb.   This is not happening, this is so unfair.
But we were able to see him and then the reality of what was happening was like a huge slap in the face.  

I am very thankful for my Pastor Oz  (Life Port Church) for coming up in time to be able to do his last rights.  What I can say is that when he did pass away, he knew he was loved.   There was 7 of us that we're there as we pulled the plug, and what I mean by that is he was on 9 different IV's medicine and the doctor just unplugged 1 and he was gone right away.    This was something that we thought would be the best, even if we did  decide not to do the above he would of only had about 30 more minutes, So we let him have peace and I know he is in heaven looking down.

We had a memorial service at our Church (Life Port Church) on June 18 and over 140 of his friends and family attended.   This was amazing and he was so loved.    I would say about 1/2 of his friends could not make it.    We were expecting over 300 +.     I did not want to be sad so I did a Quentin's Life Celebration Service.  It was "beautiful".

 

Now I am trying to get my son home we had him cremated.   My husband and I had some savings but we used that very quickly and I am just so tired, we are both working extra hours to be able to do that it still hurts so much that he is by himself at the funeral home.    We don't have a lot of family so taking things day by day.  I miss him so much it hurts!!!!    We do have a great church family tho.  I hope and pray it get's easier.    Thank's for letting me get this out and god bless Sharon

[ldressle]

Hi Shay,

 

I am so sorry for your loss, I too lost my son Benjamin and father Rick this year in a tragic plane accident on Fathers Day - June 15, 2014.  My son was only fifteen years old.  He was a freshman at Aviation High and had so much promise.

 

He loved to fly with his grandfather and I would always get nervous when they flew together.  They flew together for the last time on Fathers day, the plane crashed into the ocean off the coast of Oregon and they could not recover him.  My dad was recovered but died on impact.

 

The only way I have been able to get through the last four months is by sharing my pain with others online who are grieving, using pinterest - a great tool for finding grief tools and talking in blogs with others who are experiencing the same pain.

 

I am so sorry you lost your son in such a tragic way.  How sad to have to watch your baby die right before you.  I don't know what is worse, an unexpected tragic accident or an unexpected medical emergency.  Either way, it is very painful and emotional.  I am still in a state of shock and denial.  We too had a beautiful celebration of life and I will remember it fondly.

 

If you ever need to talk, let me know.

 

Lisa

[shorty16]

Quentins mom,

So sorry you are going through this. My 16 year old son, Brian died when he decided To ride on the hood of a moving car. He died within minutes of hitting the ground after the driver lost control. That was June of 2008.

The sudden loss of our Brian shattered our world. We have had to learn how to live again. That takes a lot of time.

Most of us talk on Loss of an Adult Child. My Brian was not an adult, but I am accepted without question. You will too.

Please be kind to yourself. Your mind, body and soul are broken.

Hang on my friend. Those that found themselves here before you, can help with the deep caves of sadness.

Colleen, Brian's Mom forever

[Heff1991]

Shay,

I lost a son to suicide back in 1991. Long before this forum was around. But back then I was a member and posted a spiritual story on it.

 The most important thing to get through this, my wife and other son and myself was our ( FAITH) in God.

      When you are in great sorrow from your loss, during this period the curtain to the other side becomes transparent.

 This spirit of your love one thats passed on may contact you in your dreams. You may also see a apperition of them.

And there may be other ways. Perfume smell, lights flickering whatever. Watch and listen be always aware of the things or events that are out of norm.

 Please please believe that they are not dead but still very much alive in Heaven. All of us live eternally, It is Gods Gift to those who believe in him.And those who do not.

When you pass on, they will be there with open arms to hug and hold you. How wonderful that will be.And forever they will never leave your side,

  To let you know, I experienced a out of body meeting and had a hug from my son within 1 week of his passing.

We are here on this earth plane of existance for such a short time. A flash in the pan they say.  Think on these things what I wrote here and you will feel better or try to.

They are still very much alive.My family is here for you now and always because of this loss of a son. Our son was 20 at the time. Bigfoot88@twcny.rr.com.