Please help. Don't know how to help my Dad deal with his loss

[catsweater]

I cannot even begin to fathom the heartache associated with losing a spouse so I let my dad cope in whatever means necessary when his wife (my mom) passed on suddenly after a quite horrible and unfortunate battle with heart disease, amputations from diabetes etc. She was 63. He was 64 at the time, and now he is 67. 

 

I know there are many stages of grief, but I feel that my dad has been stuck in the anger phase for far too long. He seems to be in a deep stage of depression now. Before my mom died he was in remission from prostate cancer, since her passing his cancer metastasized to his bones and he developed heart failure and atrial fibrillation. I know that his life is not easy, and grappling with motivation everyday must be so difficult. My siblings and I are so concerned about him that his lack of taking care of himself, and his anger and depression will only continue to worsen his health conditions. The only upside to this is that my older sister and brother are living at home with him. We fear that when they move out he will just spiral deeper into his depression. I know that it's only been 2 years since her passing, but his health is suffering and he hates everyone and everything and his only hobbies consist of watching tv and reading (he is retired). We are constantly trying to motivate him to stay active, catch up with old friends but he just says how much he hates everyone and how "all these people still have their wives and spouses." 

 

He tried therapy right after and went to a support group for people who have lost their spouses but then stopped going suddenly because he said it was no longer helping. And up until recently he was on antidepressants, but his new heart medicines interact with the antidepressants so he stopped taking them. I just feel like he's giving up. I am pregnant and due in 6 months and I hoped that this news might excite him and motivate him, but he shows zero interest in the new life. 

 

It's gotten to the point where I am wondering if we should stage a "mini-intervention" nothing forceful, or filled with anger, just a loving gathering of me and my siblings sharing our concerns for his life and urging him to take care of himself. Part of me questions this though since it only has been 2 years, I just fear at this rate he's not going to make it another 2 years with his current state of mind. 

 

Please, any suggestions, we just feel so helpless and I want my Dad to realize that there is still life to live, and he doesn't have to carry this weight and anger everyday. 

[HeyJude]

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this.  It must be so hard to have to watch your father spiral down.  Unfortunately there really isn't anything anyone can do.  The depth of despair associated with losing one's spouse in immeasurable.  No one can bring him out of it except for his self.  Does he use a computer?  Maybe he would like to join this forum??  I know it has been a big help for me.