Loss of newborn grandson

[ptlhal063]

Hi,

I'm new to this section of grieving.com.

I recently lost my sweet little infant grandson. It has devastated our family.

Our sweet little guy came about 6 wks. early because he had begun to lose weight. The Dr. thought he'd do better on the outside. My daughter in law had 2 previous miscarriages, and this was the longest she carried a baby. We were aware that there was a heart defect, but we're told it was fixable. We were all very hopeful, although nervous.

Our sweet boy was born near the end of July. He was almost 4 lbs. Tiny and oh so beautiful! He wasn't breathing on his own so he was whisked to the NICU.

We were able to see him a bit later. Such a precious baby boy. As all babies are!

When we met with the baby's Drs. they were also hopeful. But as it turned out, his heart had more wrong than they could tell in the womb.

Our baby boy lived about 28 hours. His poor little heart just couldn't support life. :'( He would've had to gain over a pound to have any surgery. They figured at least a month. But his poor little heart just couldn't go on.

We are thankful that he isn't suffering. But our hearts are crushed. :'(

It's difficult to lose a sweet baby grandson, and it's difficult to see your own child hurt so deeply. You are powerless to help. My son and I are very close. We were all so happy for them...that things would work out this time.

But it wasn't to be.

My son is the kind of man who is thoughtful of his wife. He reminds me of my own father. I find myself thinking about how my son would've taken his son shopping telling him "come on, let's go get something for Mommy." Just breaks my heart. My poor daughter in law too....so completely crushed. Sad, angry, depressed.

I try to help however I can. The Dr. has suggested she talk with a professional. I'm glad for that because she wasn't open to it when we suggested it.

I don't know how to do this. What a heart wrenching thing to deal with. Why did our little sweetie have to leave? They would've been great parents! So many people have healthy kids and they don't even want them!! How is that fair?

My heart aches for my Grandson, and for my son and his wife. :'(

Thank you for reading this.

[shorty16]

Tess,

I am so sorry for the loss of you sweet, young grandson.

Here, each of us has different stories with the same outcome.

My son, Brian was 16 when he died. Please invite your son and DIL to come here and read some posts.

Most of us post on the Loss of an Adult Child thread. Everyone is welcome.

There is no instruction booklet for how to grieve the loss of a child. But the other parents on this site have developed coping skills and share those with us.

The first is...be kind to yourself. Your mind, body and soul are going through great pain. Drink plenty of water, try to eat and sleep.

Hugs to you from a parent who knows

Colleen, Brian's Mom forever

[ptlhal063]

Thank you Colleen. I'm so sorry about your Brian. :'( My son and baby grandson are also Brian's. (Brian and Brian Jr.)

:'(

[shorty16]

Coincidence? Not sure.

I will pray for you and your family

Please be kind to yourself and each other

Colleen, Brian's Mom forever

P.S. Did anyone ever spell your Brian's name Brain? My Brian did experience that. Over time, memories like that make me smile

[Jeff's Mom]

Tess, I just read your post and I want to say how very sorry I am for your loss. I agree with Colleen...please come and join us on the Loss of Adult site. Thinking of you and your family. Kate