Lost my little lady

[SimpleSimon]

This is my first post, I'm glad I found this site, but unfortunate how I found it.

2 days ago I had to put my cat Lily down, she was my best companion for 9yrs (12yrs old) I rescued her from a shelter and connected from day 1.

She was found on the streets pregnant weighing 2lbs when the animal rescue found her, unfortunately she didn't have her babies.

Just recently Lily started acting weird , slowly eating less hard food and only licking her soft food, until all she did was drink and pee. I took her to the vets who treated her few yrs ago for a UTI. The vets could not find out what was wrong with her, I thought maybe she was constipated and didn't want to eat, I wish that was the case.

The vets gave me medication and I tried my hardest to give it to her via syringe , she wasn't having it, I tried to force feed her, she wasn't having it. I called the vets back he hummed and asked me what I thought was wrong , that only made me lose confidence in him. My vets said lets wait until Tuesday to see if she changes, tues came along just drank for those 3 days I tried every favorite treat, food but no luck.

I called Tuesday said I was bringing her in and to do x-rays like I asked the first time which he didn't do while she was sedated for blood work (she was aggressive) he called me up minutes later and said bring her home, give it another try, I thought hey maybe hope.

Now Wednesday and not eating in almost a week I had enough of her suffering, I called a second vets where my mom goes al the time, they took her right away , did X-rays and found her heart and lungs surrounded by a lot if fluid. The Doctor explained more to me in 5 mins then the other place, she had said its not good, they could insert a chest tube drain and hope she lives, hope no infection happens and could continue to do this if fluids returned which the doctor felt confident they would.

I decided there to let my little girl go, I'm now teary eyed as I write this because I feel like I let her down when she needed me most, but I couldn't keep her around for my own selfishness while I felt she would suffer. Did I do the right thing? That's what I ask myself over and over along with the what ifs.

It's been 2 days and I've ate once, I feel guilty eating when my little girl can no longer eat thanks to me, being at home is my worse place now, she will never greet me at the door any longer thanks to me having her put to sleep.

Who ever reads this and gets through the length of it, thank you for your time and allowing me to share my story.

I miss you Lily and always know I loved you so much and will always and even though I'm devastated I hope and pray I helped you and not harmed you.

Daddy

[Salli]

Hi,

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

Yesterday I lost my little dog Ronnie. He was around 12. He was also a rescue dog and we never knew his exact age. My husband and I liked to think he was born the day we met. We rescued him the day before he was due to be put down and he was our absolute treasure for 11 years.

 

He had a limp for a while and it kept getting better then getting worse (if he jumped up at the fence chasing the horses in the adjacent field). I had taken him to the vets and they said he had pulled a joint or it could be arthritis.

 

We had decided to take him back when I found a huge lump on his chest. It had appeared our of nowhere. I took him to the vets the following morning and they said it needed removing. This was Thursday and he was booked in for Monday. I had a bad feeling that he wouldn't make it through the operation and I had planned all sorts of family activities for the weekend to make the most of him. Lots of walks and snuggles!!

 

On Friday morning he was very sleepy and just lay in the dining room while the children and I played around him and pottered around the house. We had been upstairs a while and when we came down, he walked towards us and his legs splayed out. He looked like he was hallucinating and I knew something had happened.

 

Within 30 minutes he was at the vets where they said his temperature was ok but his tummy felt squishy. He went to have Xrays and when they came back, he had cancer of the spleen, the liver and it had gone to his skin.

 

My husband was working away but said he could be home within 40 minutes as we knew he would go that day, but sadly my boy's heart rate leapt up and he bled internally so we had to put him down before my husband arrived.

 

The reason I have joined this forum is that I cannot see a way of getting over this. I am devastated. My heart is torn in two and I cannot function properly. I have two little children (3 and 10months) and I am trying not to, but just cant stop crying. I have been told to pull myself together in front of them, which I know I should, but I just cant help my emotions.

 

Our situations seem so similar and it is so fresh but I just hurt so much!

 

How do we work through this? I have never known pain like it!

 

You should not feel guilty about having her put down. I do believe that if it is their time then it is kinder to let them go then to suffer, but I do know the guilt you feel as I just cant come to terms with the fact he is not here anymore and that he may have been if we had caught it sooner.

[SimpleSimon]

Hi Salli

I am to so sorry for your loss, it is so very hard to deal with, today for me was a better day, hope it was for you and your husband.

I sat and thought more and more, just like yourself, I gave my cat the best 9yrs she deserved, from when I rescued her until that day, she was my priority, just as you have your dog 11 added years to his life, something came to both of them that we could have never fixed, catching early or not, we did what we could and that's what counts.

It hurts so much because we care so much and if it didn't that would only suggest we are cold and heartless. It's very hard to pull yourself together, your a human being with feelings, you bottle them up its going to eat at you so much longer and hurt just that much more.

I really wish you and your family all the best, it's nice to have family to be around, as I have my mom and my friends, as well my girlfriend who has been so supportive in this.

I had my little lady cremated and bought a necklace that will contain some of her ashes as well as an urn, so I can have her with me all the time.

My hurdle I have is coming home and not being greeted, as she always did, until near the end. The problem with cats is that hide pain and suffering so well, you almost think did I do the right thing, but when I seem my little ladies X-ray It hurt so bad , because I knew what my options would be, risk her having an operation and it possibly returning or letting her go so no more suffering, I can't or couldn't imagine living with fluid around my heart and lungs and trying to live life.

Thank you for sharing, salli, I wish once again you and your family all the best, as I am now realizing I promise you will to, it was the right choice that's why it hurts.

You can let them suffer for your happiness and selfishness or we can let them go for their happyness and no more suffering.

[Steve s mom]

I just had to put my sons dog to sleep he was 14 and the past year getting worse arthritis ,tumors finally he couldn't walk .my son died

33 months ago.

Putting an animal to sleep if it is suffering is a most selfless act of love.im sure you did what was best for your cat.

I know snoop is with Steve again now and happy.

[Steve s mom]

I just had to put my sons dog to sleep he was 14 and the past year getting worse arthritis ,tumors finally he couldn't walk .my son died

33 months ago.

Putting an animal to sleep if it is suffering is a most selfless act of love.im sure you did what was best for your cat.

I know snoop is with Steve again now and happy.