Loss of my 4yo

[katibug98]

My 4yo daughter Cora passed away a little over two months ago.  I've been stuck in this combination of denial and reality for the last couple of months.  Over the course of the last week or so, that all shifted to being angry.  I'm angry that I don't have her any more.  I'm angry that I still don't have autopsy reports to see if there was something more that could have caused the brain bleed to happen so quickly after the ECMO procedure.  I'm angry that I've become 'that' mom.

 

So now I swing between denial and anger.  I hate it.  I can't look through pictures without having a full on emotional release.

 

I want normal.  I want my family as a whole.  And I realize that it will never be like that again, but it is still on my heart.

[mysonrich]

I'm sorry for your loss, your dear Cora. My son passed away a little over 5 years ago from cardiac dysrhythmia. Rich died in his sleep at 20 years . Many of the parents write on the adult child section. It doesnt matter the age of your child, all are welcomed without judgement. This site has been a lifeline to me and you will find parents and grandparents that understand. You are not alone.

[shorty16]

Katibug,

So sorry for the loss of your 4 year old daughter, Cora.

My 16 year old son, Brian died 6 years ago in a car crash.

Being angry is ok. I was the queen of anger for a long time until I realized anger took too much energy from me. That realization took a long time. Years for me.

Please join us on Loss of an Adult Child thread. My Brian was not an adult, but we are accepted without question.. This group of people showed me I could live again.

Be kind to yourself. 2 months is the blink of an eye on this grief journey

Colleen, Brian's Mom forever

[TylerAndTina]

I am so sorry about your daughter.  I can only imagine the pain you are going through.  Things will not stay this way forever, for Isaiah 25:8 says "He will swallow up death forever..."

 

There will come a time when you can have your family back as a whole.  Meditating on this comforting though may help you get through the pain you are experiencing in the meantime.

[brognat]

I am so sorry for your loss.  My son passed away two years ago.  I remember the shock and trauma of that first year.  It is a pain that I would not wish on anyone.  I wish I could give you advice, but I can't.  In the beginning, I just wanted someone to say something to make me feel better.  There is nothing that will, but it helps to know that you are not alone!!  Please try to find some moments of peace in that.  God bless you and your family.