Members ICEP4B Posted July 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2014 My husband had cancer in 2013. After radiation, chemo therapy, surgery then more chemo for total 10 months, cancer is gone. Early June he went to hospital for headache. It was then they found out cancer somhow slipped into the spinal fluid then to the brain. 2 weeks later he passed away at 59. It's as if we got on this train of no-return, and it took him where it wants to and we had no way off. I have so much pain, sorrow, guilt. I went to every doctor appointment, every treatment with him. What did I not see, not ask, not do? It hurt so much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted July 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2014 I just read your post. I normally post in the Loss of Adult Child site. I am so sorry for your loss and wish that there was something that I could say or do to take your pain away. I have been in your shoes and have also experienced the worry of seeing my husband suffer from cancer, surgery, and chemo. I know that this initial period will find you in shock and disbelief. I have read many posts from others on this site and know that you will be embraced and supported in your loss. You did nothing wrong. You missed nothing...this illness is a beast. Allow yourself time to grieve. Use every support available to you to help you to cope. Keep posting. Others here will offer support. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ICEP4B Posted July 13, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2014 Thanks for your kind words and being so caring, Kate. It means a lot to me!Kids all went back to their home state and family. Some days it's hard to even get out of bed. I'm avoiding people as much as I can, friends, neighbor, relatives, just want to be alone. One day at a time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted July 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2014 You do not have to thank me. Honestly... I do understand your sense of aloneness. We desperately want someone to hold us and understand... and yet at the same time we crave silence and peace. We need time to adjust to the situation and all that happened. It can happen so quickly and catch us off guard. You have suffered a tremendous loss and it takes a huge amount of time to accept. We all go about this in our own way. Just please know that you are not alone. Everyone of us is suffering from our loss. Days can be good and bad. The main thing is that we all understand and will offer support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sim-law Posted July 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2014 ICEP4B, I can understand what you are going through, I lost my wife to cancer and I am always thinking that I should Have done more or seen what was happening even before the diagnosis.We can only do our best, I took my wife to all her appointments and treatments and did the research but it appears that it was all futile in the end and I lost her anyway. We did not ask for this to happen and the pain seems unbearable at times but we just have to go on with life as there is no alternative and our loved ones would want us to live and, hopefully find some happiness and meaning to our lives. Kind thoughts and wishes to you.Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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