Lost my Soulmate

[april1717b]

I am new here to griveing.com and it was suggested that I find an online support group so here goes. I lost my husband on June 17,2014 who died suddenly in a motorcycle accident. Since then I just can't seem to get a grip on reality and his loss has placed a huge void where only he would fill.  I can't sleep or sit still, I think about him the first thing in the morning before  my eyes open and the last thing at night. It seems like I have to learn how to walk all over again. I am crying out of the blue and once the tears start I can't get them to stop. The pain hurts so much. I lost a parent before and thought that was hard but this just can't compare maybe because it was a sudden loss of life.  Is there anyone who can tell me how they got through the first few months??

[sim-law]

April, sooo sorry about the loss of your husband, everyone on this forum knows the pain you are going through. The fact that your loss was so sudden must be a terrible shock but I can tell you that the pain would be the same anyway. The only advice I can give from my own experience is to try to get help and support from friends and or family and maybe see a professional councilor.

 

I also think of my soulmate all the time and especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night. This is the worst possible thing that could happen to anyone and we just have to take it one day at a time and hope that things will get better.

 

If you can't get any sleep perhaps you could get a prescription from your doctor as sleep is very important for the healing process.

 

Healing wishes to you.

Simon

[Chyloe]

Boy can I relate.  My husband passed on 24 June 2014, so a week after your significant other.  However my husband had been suffering from adrenal cancer for almost 7 years.  I knew he was going to go, but I don't believe you are ever ready when it happens.

 

I second the going to get counselling, and see your doctor about the not being able to sleep.  I am doing this myself next week, as I am having the same issue.

 

Be gentle with yourself. 

[Dr. Pat]

Good Morning!

 

It is such a hard journey. I've done it twice now, having lost two precious and much loved husbands, 22 years apart. I'm a grief counselor and have some materials that I think will help you navigate these difficult waters. There is a free webinar as well as other materials on my website at www.thrivingdespitegrief.com. I have just published a workbook to go with it which will be available towards the end of next week at Amazon called Alive Again!. I have had very positive feedback from others about how they found the webinar and the workbook to be so helpful. It gave them something "to do" - a guide of how to help themselves through this difficult journey. I'd also look forward to talking with you. 

 

Many blessings and may peace rest on you.

 

Pat Sharp Brown, Ph.D.

[Jac S]

June 22, 2014 I lost my husband of 15 years, my everything, father of my children to suicide.  I have so much guilt and anger.  At times I feel emotionless like I am a zombie.  I think I"m still in a state of shock 3 weeks later.  I found him- did not expect to see what I saw and I'm trying to put some sort of sence to this.  He struggled with alchohol and depression.  He would go through boughts of stopping the drinking but never for himself and his depression would over run his life to the point sometimes he could not work.  He was on so many medications, saw a councelor I did not like or think new anything. The last 3 years have been shaky, the last 4 months horrible.  He needed more help his depression than he was getting but made excuses not to....money being one of them. I have so much unbearable guilt.  I keep hearing not to feel guilty but how don't I when I feel like I let him down, I could not save him and in the end I feel like I failed.  Nobody should have to find their spouse after they take their own lives.  No lives should be lost like this.