Lost my dad at the age of 17.

[Kersten]

On March 5th of this year my dad passed away suddenly to a massive heart attack at the age of 52. It was completely sudden and unexpected. He was working in another province and was seemingly fine when we talked to him just hours before. I remember the day so vividly when we got the call, and my mom threw the phone and I just knew something bad had happened.

It's such a difficult thing to put words to.. I graduated high school and he wasn't there to watch me. Fathers day without him. Easter without him. I feel as though none of my friends can help me and sometimes it makes me feel angry, because they don't understand and some of them haven't even tried to offer any help. And I feel so envious of my friends when they mention their dads, and I get angry when they say they're fighting with them. Well at least you still have them around. It's really made me more cautious and grateful for what I do have.. I just wish i could help my mom, they were together for 25 years and they had a perfect relationship. She's only 46 and has to live the rest of her life without her soul mate. I've recently been suffering from bad anxiety and depression and I feel like I don't know how to cope anymore, and I feel guilty when I wish I lived a normal life like other teenagers my age. 

 

It just isn't fair. People say things happen for a reason, but what could the reason be, to take away an amazing man who was the funniest, most supportive, most understanding person I have ever met. 

 

To top it off, I have to go back to work after taking a couple of months off to finish school and get my mental health in check, but I just want to be with my mom. I hope things get easier one day.. What I wouldn't do to just hug him one last time, my ultimate regret.

[Ruby]

Hi Kersten: 

 

Your story is much like my brother-in-law's.  I would like to share it with you.  My own story is much different.

 

Gord was 16 when his dad died of a heart attack.  He is 51 now and the healing has only just begun for him, but it has begun.  His dad died when his parents were on a second honeymoon to Hawaii (25th anniversary trip).  He died towards the end of the trip.  Gord's mom came home from Hawaii without her husband.  

 

I remember in the early years of my sister and brother in law's marriage, we talked about my brother in law's dad and what losing him at such a young age meant.  He talked about Hawaii and how he never wanted to go there because his dad died there.   Well... as hard as that thought was for him for many years, I have to tell you.  For their 25th anniversary, my sister and Gord went to Hawaii.  

 

You are young now.  The whole world just crashed in on you.  It is a lot to process if you are processing at all.  I was 39 when my dad died and I had a lot more years.  Also I had warning and time to prepare.. my dad had cancer.  

 

I remember in the last month of my dad's life, Gord asked me...

 

" I wonder if it is more painful to lose a parent suddenly or lose him to a disease?"

 

I told him he would soon be able to tell me the answer.  Gord knew what it was like to lose his dad suddenly, and when that conversation took place... he was losing his father-in-law.  Totally different experience. 

 

I didn't get to finish that conversation.  I am just grateful now that I had time with my Dad where all the trivial things we used to fight about didn't matter anymore.  

 

I will tell you this much.  "The pain will end, but the sadness will remain"  It is what I was told before my dad died and what I want to pass on to others. 

 

Please don't be in a rush to get your mental health in check.  Grief is a journey.  

 

If you need to hang out here and soak in the sadness with others who understand loss... then by all means, do that.  I only started here today too.. but I know this website is for people like you and me and for times like this.  

[Kersten]

Hi Kersten: 

 

Your story is much like my brother-in-law's.  I would like to share it with you.  My own story is much different.

 

Gord was 16 when his dad died of a heart attack.  He is 51 now and the healing has only just begun for him, but it has begun.  His dad died when his parents were on a second honeymoon to Hawaii (25th anniversary trip).  He died towards the end of the trip.  Gord's mom came home from Hawaii without her husband.  

 

I remember in the early years of my sister and brother in law's marriage, we talked about my brother in law's dad and what losing him at such a young age meant.  He talked about Hawaii and how he never wanted to go there because his dad died there.   Well... as hard as that thought was for him for many years, I have to tell you.  For their 25th anniversary, my sister and Gord went to Hawaii.  

 

You are young now.  The whole world just crashed in on you.  It is a lot to process if you are processing at all.  I was 39 when my dad died and I had a lot more years.  Also I had warning and time to prepare.. my dad had cancer.  

 

I remember in the last month of my dad's life, Gord asked me...

 

" I wonder if it is more painful to lose a parent suddenly or lose him to a disease?"

 

I told him he would soon be able to tell me the answer.  Gord knew what it was like to lose his dad suddenly, and when that conversation took place... he was losing his father-in-law.  Totally different experience. 

 

I didn't get to finish that conversation.  I am just grateful now that I had time with my Dad where all the trivial things we used to fight about didn't matter anymore.  

 

I will tell you this much.  "The pain will end, but the sadness will remain"  It is what I was told before my dad died and what I want to pass on to others. 

 

Please don't be in a rush to get your mental health in check.  Grief is a journey.  

 

If you need to hang out here and soak in the sadness with others who understand loss... then by all means, do that.  I only started here today too.. but I know this website is for people like you and me and for times like this.

My mom and I got memorial tattoos of his writing that we found from a card and a note my dad gave my mom.