3 months have passed

[Skysie]

So 3 months have passed since my fiancé died in a horrible truck accident. I miss more and more each day. It's not easier at all. You just cope with it a bit better. Still wish I went with him. Still wish I could turn back the clock. Change things by just 2 minutes. I'm working again now and have moved. Nothing helps. I still want to be with him more then anything. This is hell on earth.

[ModKonnie]

Skysie,

I am so very sorry about the loss of your fiance. Do you have anyone for support, like his family or your family? I think we all wish we could go back in time for various things, but, well.... I certainly get what you mean by that. So, have you considered a grief and loss support group or professional counseling?   Why did you move, and what do you do for a living? Are you taking care of yourself?

 

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

[Sammijo2424]

My husband passed away 1 1/2 years ago, very, very suddenly, he was only 55 years old. I just want to share that it does get easier, I have survived the worst 1 1/2 years of my life, total hell on earth. I cried every day, almost all day for many, many months, but eventually the tears start to dry up, I finally said I don't have anymore, the constant pain lessens, I won't say it gets better, but you just eventually start to accept it. Not sure accept is right word, because I don't think I will ever truly accept, but maybe just come to terms with it.

You begin to understand the life you knew before is gone, totally wiped out, and you begin building a new life for yourself, hardest thing I have ever had to do, I thought I would always have him to take care of me, always be my best friend, but...life is full of changes.

My daughter was playing a song today....It is Well With My Soul, I cannot say it is well, still not after this time, still kinda angry with God, I still have times of sadness, depression, crying, I can say it is better with my soul, time is the ONLY thing that helps, well, and if you have a personal relationship with God, talking to him, screaming at him, even curse him if you must, he is an awesome God and he can take it. Also, in the early days I wrote a lot, about my feelings, about our life together, my anger, my dreams and nightmares and it helped. Be kind to yourself. Also, I went to counseling for a year, my kids got tired of hearing my crying, hearing nothing but things about husband, it was nice having an impartial party listen to me, at times offering suggestions on things to do, I went every two weeks, sometimes I even wrote down what I wanted to talk about. I looked forward to it, because I knew I would get a tad bit of relief. I strongly recommend it. Also, coming here reading other's stories, writing some myself helped tremendously, you know you are not alone, as you can see I still am on here.