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So sorry to hear about your son, but he sounds like he was a brave young man.  We never know what could have been, we just need to figure out how to move forward and find a new normal with a different type of new happy again for ourselves and our family that remains.   


Your in the right place for guidance and compassion.

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So sorry to hear the lost of your son Patrick...I pray that you may feel God's comfort. It's really hard to keep the faith when life is being taken away.


I lost my 5 year old girl to cancer. It was diagnosed November 2013 and lost her on January 1, 2014.


Hugs and prayers to you,


Kylie's Mommy- Mommy Cherry

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Mermaid Tears

MasterPatrick05......first...I want to say how very sorry ..very.....that you lost your SONshine boy....

next....please go to the site called 'Loss of Adult Child'.....

for really...it doesn't matter if our child was 52 or 14 or 2....they are still our child....

you will find many on that site that has been there for years and years....I call them our 'Spirit Guides'....

they are the ones that have been on the grief journey for many years....they are a little ahead of us...

and they wave to us....they wave us on....

we are put on this grief journey with no map or compass....we come here so lost....

and they are the ones that can show us how to travel this hell....this grief path...

I have no one around me that has lost a child....and one night...I was looking something else up on the internet...

and I was 'guided' to this site....my human boat was going down for the last time....and they threw out a life raft for me...with their words...hands reached out....with complete understanding of what I was going through...

and I found out...I wasn't going crazy...I was just in 'mourning'.....

we don't have any answers...but we do have a common ground in our shattered hearts...and our grief...

you will find many on that site that walk in your shoes...

It will be one of the hardest thing you will ever have to do...

and yes....I think your SONshine boy was his and your hero....


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I can't watch without crying either. 


For me I try to remember the good times over the past 2 years that we had with our son and to be thankful he came back from his last deployment. Which he almost didn't and it gave us a chance to know our son as a adult and not the child that left here in 2007. 

So I am very grateful for the happy times that we had over the previous 2 years, there were a couple episodes were we almost lost him in the  2 years which helped prepare us for what happened. If you can ever really be prepared. 


My husband and I now talk about parents and losing children and just can't fathom how we would handle being in your situation or some of the others losing a young child like that or any child to a tragic accident where you lose them instantly without realizing there is chance of losing them.   We have our bad days and good days but we know that our son had some demons that he was battling and we know that he is in a safe place.   Knowing he is now safe and we don't have to wonder what or where we are at peace.  We look at the future and realize how empty our future will be without seeing him marry and give us grandchildren.  Something we were looking forward too.


When my son went to Boot camp and some of the other mothers were upset that they couldn't talk to their kids for 6-8 weeks,  I told them 6-8 weeks was nothing that some people would never get to talk or see their children again and they should be grateful they knew when they would see them again.  Never realizing I would be one of those who would never see their child again.  The reason I had that attitude was because we lost a neighbor boy on the next street who commited suicide at age 15 (over a girl), we lost the little girl down the street who snuck out and died in a car wreck during the middle of the night at age 14, her parents were unaware she was gone when the police showed up at their door, all 3 in the car died. A friend we used to camp with had a son older than ours lost her son to alchol/oxy combo his freshman year in college while home on break.    While my soon was in boot camp I was sitting in my family room on computer and heard a major crash on the Interstate - 3 very loud crashes..  Turned on the scanner and listened  and it was a fatality.  The 18 y.o girl died at the scene - she lived 2 blocks over and went to school with my son .   I kept all these parents in my mind while my son was in the military and deployed  cause I knew/hoped he would be home someday. So I am grateful that he came home and we got to know the young man he had become and was on the road to be when he fell off the correct road.  


You will find a way for you to recover in time.  I know the first month I was busy with everything and didn't have time to cry/grieve and to miss him,  month 3 has been the hardest for me but I keep trying to think about how things for me could have turned out worse.. 

I see people who are left on life support and have to make decisions and   I am grateful that I didn't have to make those type of decisions. 


As you read through peoples stories you see  it is survivable.


We are at the beginning of our journey and as others here have shown us we can do this  it will just take us time.

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