The family home and going through Mom's things

[waterfall]

It has been a couple of months since my mom died and this will be the first time I will be returning to our family home since her memorial service. I had fallen so far behind at home and in my work here when mom was ill ( I work full time and was teaching two college classes in the evenings) and I needed to take care of things here before I could even think about dealing with her home and belongings.

 

I know I need to face this, and on some level I want to spend some time with her things as I know I will feel close to her at that time, but I am really dreading going back to the house and starting this process. I guess I have put off my grieving in my frantic attempt to keep my head above water and get through the semester. Now I have to accept the fact that she is never coming home and that this place that has been my true home since I was three years old will no longer be a part of my life. I have so many memories in that home, and when we finally have to sell it, I feel like it is going to be like losing another family member.

 

The thing is, it is just my brother and I now and it is complicated, but he is not always someone I can turn to for comfort and support. There is no one else. My mother has some precious things that have been passed down in my family for many years. What will I do with them? I have no children. All of this is reminding me of how alone I am in this world.

 

I know this weekend is just one of many I am going to need to spend there. How do I get through this?

[Sailormom]

So sorry that you have to do this alone,  I was an only child so I totally get where you are coming from.  Take a box of Kleenex with you and don't hurry thru things,  it will actually help you feel closer to some degree.   I lost my mom in 1986 when I was 26 then my father died in 2002 so at that point I had to go thru things and sell the house.

 

Do you have any nieces, nephews,or cousins?  Maybe things could be given to them?  

We just lost our son 3 months ago and those are the things going thru our head, we have no one to pass them too, I I still have my oldest son but he has never married and probably never will.  So we are looking around at nieces and such for family things on my husbands side of the family.

[cindyjane]

Hi waterfall

 

So sorry for your loss.  Amidst the grieving and trying to get our daily things done it can become pretty chaotic.  Like you mentioned you had to tend to things at home and had a couple of classes to teach.  Now you have time to deal with your mom's home and her belongings which is a tough thing to do.  In doing that, for me it brought back a flood of memories.  Like sailormom said, take a box of Kleenex with you.  At the same time as being a difficult task, going through my mom's belongings was also very healing.  It helped me to not avoid my feelings. I also came across some items that told me a lot about my mom that I didn't know.  She kept drawings/pictures and Mother's Day cards that us kids made for her in school 40 years ago.  I didn't know how precious these things were to her that she kept them all of these years.  Although the flood gates opened (tears flowed) when I came across these things, it made me feel good to see the things that were so important to her.  I believe that as you go through your mom's belongings there are certain things that you will want to keep, as for other things you will know what to do with them as you go.  Just take your time and go with your feelings. 

 

take care

Cindy