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[Teresa1014]

Hi everyone! I did a search of how to deal with loss and it brought me here. I lost my grandparents and Dad when I was pretty young, and most recently lost my mom in 2007. I am still having a hard time dealing with it, she and I were very close and losing her left a big hole in my life. My family is no longer a family anymore, Mom held us all together. I don't know what kind of solace I am looking for, maybe I just want to talk with others who are going through what I am. It is very hard to lose someone who was such an important part of my life. My prayers go out to all of you who are feeling the way I do, it's a difficult thing to deal with and I really have no support.

[cindyjane]

Hi Teresa

 

I am so sorry for your losses.  Nothing is ever the same when we lose a loved one.  Life changes drastically for us as well as other family members.  We all deal with loss and grieving differently.  My siblings loved my mom just as much as I did, yet when she passed on we all handled our feelings differently.  My brother who use to come home for every Christmas, birthday's, anniversaries now avoids family gatherings since my mom's passing.  My guess is that he finds it too painful at this time.  My sister who rarely came to family gatherings is now initiating family dinners and visits.  I don't know what is in another person's heart but I do know that when a family member passes on it is hard on everyone. 

 

Like I mentioned in another post here, for me it comes down to adapting with the loss.  Not an easy thing to do.  For me the thing that works best is focusing on others.  Being kind and doing something for someone else brings healing for me.  Simple things like carrying an elderly persons groceries to their car ... phoning my elderly aunts and uncles now and then just to say hi ... stopping by a friend's house to drop off a plant from the greenhouse.  In bringing a little bit of joy to another person, I find that it lifts my heavy heart.  I just know that my mom would love those little gestures of kindness toward others. 

 

Not sure if this helps at all ... just sharing what helps me get through this difficult change.  Take care.

 

Cindy

[Joschoe]

It will be one year next month since my dad passed away. I know there are times you just wish you can pick up the phone and call him or just drop in and then you remember he's gone. I've found that the greatest comfort for me is my relationship with our Creator. He's given me so much comfort thru the scriptures Ps: 55:22 tells us to throw our burdens on him and he will sustain us. His promise to reunite me with him again on a paradise earth brings me much comfort . Imagine to hug and kiss him again what a wonderful time that would be! More than anything else a relationship with God can help you cope with the death of someone you love. A brochure entitled " When someone you love dies" can provide much comfort during your distressful time. You can find it at jw.org under publications or email me at caringwordsfor@gmail.com and I can hey you a copy

JoAnne

[mydeepestthoughts]

Hello Theresa... I know how you feel,I lost my mom in 2005. She was the central part of my family, we all gathered at mom and dad's house. And though we love my father deeply, Mom was the key. It is a unnatural thing to lose someone in death. The sense of lost is a natural reaction, and their is no set time to "move on". A suggestion to try to bring back the family closeness, is to start a monthly family correspondence..for example: once a month everyone takes a turn sending out a family letter with general updates about what's going on in thier lives, that might help to bring back the closeness that was lost when you mom passed.

[KattFernandez]

Hi Teresa, 

 

I am so sorry for your losses. I commend you for seeking our support and, although I don't know a lot, it sounds like you are doing the best that you can with what you have. I hope you find the support that you need from here. I, too, am new to the group and I hope to be able to form bonds and friendships with people here!

 

-Katt