Members Butterfly14 Posted June 2, 2014 Members Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 It's only been 9 weeks since my Father passed away. I can't describle how I feel, because it don't seem real to me. I keep playing my sisters voice in my head to me the night she called and said " Dad died"The words I never wanted to hear and was so afraid of hearing that I keep telling myself it's not true. There is so much emotions and anger now with my siblings and now to go to probate court over my Father's house. I don't know what I am suppose to do. I pray that my Dad would come to me as my Guardian angel and tell me what I need to do. I guess this is all part of the grieving process, although I don't feel like it is. I miss my dad, my heart hurts and I am so lost without him here. Butterfly14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Heartlight Posted June 2, 2014 Members Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Hi Butterfly, I'm sorry about your Dad When my sister died, I replayed in my head, again and again, the moment that I was told the words, "Traci's dead." The memory was so alive and active in my psyche that each time, I re-lived the same horror that I felt that first time which literally brought me to my knees. I don't know if the words you are hearing is creating the same re-living for you but, if it is, I have found it to be very common. It is what I call the death-trauma. The re-living of a main traumatic moment for those left behind. It is a different moment for each person and perhaps there are some that don't have one, but I have only spoken with people who do. If this is the case, please understand that this re-living is very natural. The only help that I found for it is to embrace the moment when it comes up and allow myself to cry and pick myself up off the floor with great love and compassion. For it is significant, this person we lost. It changes our world and it changes who we are. We deserve to have great love and compassion for ourselves as we learn once again how to live in this world. It is a great sad thing, also, how losing a loved-one can often break apart a family. The difficult part is that even if we learn how to express our grief in a healthy manner, which includes dealing with the people around us, others in our family may not recognize what they're going through or may not want to learn any coping skills or .... in other words, we can't control how they experience their grief, even when it affects us. This, unfortunately, makes it so that you must find in your heart what feels right to you. Although people all over could give you suggestions on either side of your conundrum, you will eventually have to make your own choices. If you listen to what others have to say (which may include considering other people's point of view or your own emotional and legal entitlement or other suggestions) and then take some time to meditate or ponder you may be able to see what possible outcomes resonate the best with you. But please be gentle with yourself because, truly, when you are dealing with grief, there is no easy answer. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Butterfly14 Posted June 3, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted June 3, 2014 Sorry to hear about your sister Thank you Heartlight, you are right there are no easy answers or how to's in dealing with grief. I myself with a strong faith find it necessary to cling to people with a positive and spiritual energy/attitudes. What makes it harder for me is the family and how they changed in their mind sets and attitudes towards everything. Makes it alot harder to grief. Can't wait until Thursday and see what happens at court. Butterfly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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