My mother passed away on Thursday after a 24 year battle with aids and addiction

[KatherineSummer]

My mother passed away on Thursday and I'm totally and utterly lost. I was basically the only one in my entire family who stuck next to her...she was my rock and now she's gone. I watched her suffer until final peace for a week and a half, it was horrible. Her loss still hasn't completely hit me..scared of the pain when it does. I mean I've known for a long time this was coming since she's been sick ever since I could remember I just though she was superwoman for surviving as long as she did. You're never really prepared especially when you grow so close in the final years.

[Heartlight]

Hello KS, I'm sorry about your mom.

 

It sounds like you have a lot of admiration for your mom and that makes me feel happy for her.  Growing up with much addiction surrounding me, I know that having love for someone in addiction can be very painful.  That you were with her through her difficult times is a beautiful thing.

 

It's been a while since you wrote, how are you feeling now?  It was so soon when you wrote and it still is but I'm wondering how you are doing after acclimating to the initial shock - if you have yet.

 

You are right that no preparedness really prepares you.  We had a month with my dad's final illness and he even knew 3 days before he died that he was going to and everyone spoke openly to him about how much we loved him and did everything we thought we needed for him and for us but nothing can prepare you for the actuality and finality of they not being with us anymore.

 

It is why grief is the accepted insanity.

 

Please write and tell us how you're doing; it can sometimes help, even just momentarily, to know there are people who understand.

 

<3

[Sailormom]

I remember taking care of my ill mother. She had been sick for years before she died, in and out of hospitals.    

I remember feeling as if I had been cheated out of enjoying normal mother daughter things...  I was 26 when she died. 

The first year or so wasn't too bad.. it was more of a relief that she was out of her pain and suffering and in a better place.  Then after that was when the feelings of being cheated out of my mom set in.   Mom has been gone for 28 years now and I still miss her. 

It probably took me about 10 years to get to a better place mentally over losing her.     But just remember feelings of relief are normal if and when you have them, you have been so busy taking care of her that you may experience them. 

 We are here for you when the pain does hit,  it may be a month or 3 months down the road or longer and when you least expect it.