Newbie, need support

[lisa p]

Hi,

 

I am in need of support from anyone who can understand my situation.  In 2004 my husband, who I was separated from at the time, but we were working on it, passed away in a roll over accident.  Just prior to that my mom has passed away from ALS.  I had become friends with a close neighbor and his wife who also had ALS.  His wife passed away in 2005.  Shirtly after that, I was trampled by my horses and had broken bones.  The DR. said I needed to sleep in a recliner which I did not have.  My neighbor, Dale, had previously offered me his spare bedroom, because my house was falling apart.  After the accident, I took him up on the offer.  He took such good care of me, that we became partners, 4 moths after my accident.  We had many similar intersts and were a great team doing much good for our community.  WE could not get married, as he received medications for the Veterans Administration.  Our combined incomes made him ineligible for medications, yet the cost of medications was more than our combined incomes.  Dale and I were together for 8 years.  Last fall He finally received VA disability status for service connected disabilities.  We could then get married.  Our weddding was planning for April of this year.  Unfortunately, due to lung issues resulting from a furnace being installed in my new house that was on recall, that caused us both to have severe carbon monoxide poisoning, he passed away in February. His two children, who were his estate executators,  chose to not to postpone vacations and be with their dad prior to his passing.  He was never able to finish a recent will that he had started, because his eventual demise was quick. His estate executator came to my area and said that he would be here for 5 days and everything with his dads estate would be setteld.  He would not do anything more.  Dle had a motorcycle, that money was still owed on, his son was going to let it go back to the bank, but I was able to seel it back to thedealer it was purchased from for double what was owed. I also took care of all of Dale;'s final arrangements, based on his wished which his son was unaware of.  His son was working outside of the US, and making very good money.  When his son came to get the motorcycle, some of  Dale's other children who were written out of his will also came.  They took and tried to take whatever they wanted including many family heirlooms of mine, things their dad had in writing that were to be mine, or other friends of ours.  His estate executator, did not do everything that needed to be done, resulting ingreat financila loss for me.  I had placed many of his dads medical expenses on my charge card, as his dad could not afford them.  One of his children., who were written out of the will, also stole additional things from me.  He also had death threats against me.  I was his dads partner.  He never saw his dad, since robbing him of over $250,000 of money and cars over a 10 year period.  I was living in fear for a while, but things have settled down.  Now none of his children will have any communication with me.  His daughter had a Direct TV received that her dad gave her.  I cannot afford to continue the TV, but she will not return it to me.  There are several items here registered to Dale, but his son said they could sit here and rot.  Another son plans on coming here soon to get the rest of his dads belongings.  Many of these items his dad gave to me, or were items that were ours.  Some are family heirlooms from my family.  The police and my lawyer said nothing is to be removed form thses premisis. I was the one who watched their dad slowly die over the past tqo years.  Iwas the one who moved into the hospital for his final 5 days.  I was the one who became upset when the DR. with held treatment a day before the team meeting.  I had medical power of attorney for Dale, but was not told what was happening until it was too late.  I am missing my partner of the past 8 years greatly.  I have limited local friends, one child who lives outside of the area, no siblings or parents who are alive.  Due to the expenses I incurred, I am in danger of losing everything.  I lost my best friend and his children referred to me as his care giver, yet they all knew better than that.  There are many other things that were said and done that disturb me greatly,but for now, I need help on coping with the loss of my best friend, my confidant, my advice giver, my mechanic, the person who was showing me how to do all of those "guy things" to maintain my house, vehicles, lawn mower, etc.  I miss his smile, his laugh, his touch, going to meetings with him, and all the other things we did together.

[ModKonnie]

Lisa P,

I am so very sorry about the loss of your precious Dale. I am moving your post to Loss of a Partner, where you will find others who have experienced similar losses. They will be able to offer you some sage advice and solid support and encouragement.

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

[HeyJude]

First let me say how sorry I am for your loss. 

 

It is horrible how the vultures gather, isn't it??  Have you checked with the State of Wisconsin regarding "Common Law"?  If the State recognizes an 8 year relationship as Common Law and he had no will there is a chance that everything automatically would go to you.  I don't know though, certainly not my area of expertise.

 

Welcome to your forum.  You will find a lot of support here.