loss of my mum and the house I grew up in,

[Sonjawild]

My mum was diagnosed with cancer, which then spread and she died of it in October this was whilst i was on a nursing course. to qualify on time I had to make up the time i had for compassionate leave which I took in november and had to make up in January. I worked 48 hour weeks and on the weekends I went and cleared the house out, as I was not the executor he then dropped the bomb shell that after the third weekend going there that I was not to come back. Becuase he needed to clean the house before handing over the keys to the developer, person who was buying the house.

Febuary started my new job 2 days after finishing the course, also moved house. job turned a sour, highlighted the fact and now they want to rectify it. which is good but my trust in that organisation has gone. I am now on sick leave and dont want to go back to that job which I have to do tomorrow. I feel so low, my husband just does not understand and thinks I should go back to work and everything will be ok. I now have anxiety issues and fear of going back to work.

[Trish91]

Dear Sonja,

 

I'm really truly sorry for all your losses and what you are going through. I wish I could offer you comfort, but all I can say is that I sympathize with your situation completely, and I feel for you.

 

Like you, I have got a good husband, and unlike you, I've still got my dad and brother, nieces and nephews, cousins, aunties and uncles, but I'm devastated over the loss of my mom. I feel a deep sadness that overwhelms me and consumes me almost completely at times. I think of my mom everyday, and feel really anxious too, just like you.

 

My mom was my soul mate, my sister, my best friend, my daughter, my other half, she was my everything. I loved and love her more than words can ever say, and I miss her deeply, all the time. Part of me died with her and will never be the same. I don't know how to go on without her, but I have to go on without her in this world.

 

She also had cancer that spread, and thank God she didn't suffer for too long, but I cannot believe she's gone, I will never accept it, I still cannot comprehend it.

 

My job is very stressful too, but if the work environment was awful as in your case, I would not return, because the last thing one needs is added pressure and sadness. The loss of our dearly beloved is a huge cross to bear to also have to put up with additional anxiety and pain.

 

I think you need to look after yourself first and foremost, so do what you feel is right for you, and forget about what others may think. Your peace of mind is more important than your job. You will find another job. Of course, if you believe that it's worth trying, then go on, see how you feel and then decide, but do what is best for you and nobody else.

 

You have been through a lot, as have I and a lot of others on this forum, so we have to try and love ourselves and be gentle with ourselves.

 

I sincerely hope that you feel a bit better everyday and that your job situation improves.

 

Take care,

 

Trish

 

 

[Sonjawild]

Thank you so much Trish, I hope that time makes your sadness and pain become more bareable. I believe in guardian angels and I think that your mum will be yours

x