Members Broken hearted Posted May 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Hi I lost my mum through suicide on 25-1-14 I'm am lost without her, I am so emotional and am not sure how to deal with my grief can anyone help? Thanx in advance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Broken hearted Posted May 10, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Hi I'm new to this kind of thing and was just wondering if anyone had been through a similar thing to me my mum had mental health issues and had made a previous suicide attempt a year ago but we found her and got her help this time her attempt was successful I think I'm finding it hard as she stayed a two hours drive from me and had came up to stay on 22-01-14 as my birthday is 23-01-14 we spent over 24 hours together and she appeared great laughing joking and seemed 100% her happy self she left my house at 2 pm on 23-1-14 and travelled home, had dinner with my step dad then went away to a very secluded spot and took her own life I blame myself as If I had noticed something maybe things could have been different I miss her so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cindyjane Posted May 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Hello MH I am so sorry for your loss. I have worked in psychiatry for almost 3 decades and have seen many mental health illness'. Depression is one of them I and know how difficult it is for people to get through. I have also experienced suicide with a family member and it sure leaves us with many unanswered questions. We often ask ourselves why we didn't know how the person was feeling, and we wonder if we could have said or done something. We are left with so many questions but the truth is we can never know why someone takes their life, and of course if we had known what was going on we would try to help. Sadly we don't know therefore we can't help. I know that depression can be brought on my a chemical imbalance. Or a person can be going through some kind of difficult situation and not see a way out and have lost all hope. I would suggest that you try no to figure out any of these questions and just know that today your mom is not in pain. She is at peace and I believe that we will all be with our loved ones who have passed on again one day. It has been 7 months since my mom passed on and I still miss her today and always will but as time goes on, the gratefulness of having her for my mom is outweighing the sadness. Time really is a healer. Please take careCindy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Broken hearted Posted May 10, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Hi cindy Thanx for replying I do have so many ifs and buts whys and how's and I try my hardest not to answer them as I know I will never get answers but at times I cannot help it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissuDad Posted May 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 Hi MH, I´m really sorry for your loss I can´t imagine how hard it must be for you dealing with a suicide, I´m really sorry My story does not involve suicide, but I know how hard it is to think we could´ve done something more... If you have people who are able to listen to you, then do it, don´t think you´re burdening them, your family is also grieving, so it will be healing for all of you to share the experience, it will bring some relief. When my dad died I wished I had relatives who could relate to the pain I was feeling, I only had/have a couple of friends to whom I could say how I was feeling... If you find this hard, you can start a journal, come here and find a therapist, it does not make the pain go away, but it helps dealing with it, when it hits hard. Feel free to text me, if you need to let it out. A big hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Broken hearted Posted May 12, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Hi missudad Thank you for responding I know I should talk to my family on mum side as they are probably feeling similar to myself but I was not close to them growing up and my dad well we don't have the best relationship and my fiancés family are great and very supportive however I/we seem to put a lot on them and I just feel that they need a break to! I know I'm probably being silly and that they would not mind mmmm I thinkbim goin to need to bite the bullet as such and approach them and talk as deep down my biggest fear is that if I don't talk I will make myself ill! Which is something that I don't want, mental health I an issue in my family and I need to keep a check on mine!!Thank you for your lovely words and I hope cindy and missudad all the best if u need to vent or what ever u can contact me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members domniki Posted May 12, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 I am so sorry for your loss. It is not easy to understand. I am going through the same. My husband took his life on 4-15-14. The pain is so great. Some days, I cant stop the pain. It is all I think about, day and night. I have been reading about bipolar, which helps me get a little insight to what he was feeling. I need closure. Its hard to say what would help, since everyone heals in different ways. I firmly believe in talking to someone. This has to be one of the worse things that someone can ever go through in life. Therapy is a real life saver. They also have grief groups too. There is alot of help out there. My kids and I are lost too. I was not only left with a ton of bills, a house, but major difficulties to comprehend this. Everytime I see his building, I cant stop thinking about him. I get a knot in my stomach. I cant understand how a man who had everything at some point. How could he leave his two beautiful children? They need him so much. Please dont hesitate to talk to someone. Let it out. Good luck to you. I am so sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members okeechobee18 Posted May 23, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 23, 2014 I'm very sorry for your loss, I can imagine what you are feeling as my stepmom took her own live just a month ago. She was like a mother to me and I just don't know how to deal with this. I feel broken inside and I just can't stop thinking about it, the way it happened, the way she was laying in the coffin when I saw her. Everything is so unreal and the way it all happened was so cruel and painful. You have to go on with your life but it's not that simple, putting away my feelings to be able to do other things just makes me feel guilty, I wish i could talk to her, help her. I miss her. Big hugs and I hope you can find strength...for everyone who has lost somebody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jasmine B. Posted May 28, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2014 Hi, well first of I am sorry for your loss. I also lost my mother to suicide on December of last year so 6 months ago. So I understand what you may be feeling and going through and it may feel like tough thing to deal with at the moment and I know it will never fully heal, this pain you are feeling but the best thing to do for yourself is be the type of person that grows from this, that becomes stronger in a sense. Dont let this tradgedy stop your life. Yes your mother is no longer with you in person but she is with you everday in your mind and in your heart and you stull have those memories left to you that no one will ever take away. Just know that even though shes not here, your mom is still looking out for you and wants you to suceed in life. So do your best to make her proud and if you ever need anyone to talk to, Im always here to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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