Hardest day in awhile...

[Tryingtohavehope]

Today is 4 months since Keith died and OMG is the pain worse!!! I have a bunch of good days but this morning has been horrible! I heard one of the songs that reminds me of him on the radio and I know it was him telling me he's with me but it's just not the same! He was the ONLY one who could comfort me and calm me down...what am I going to do?? I feel trapped...4 months isnt very long but at the same time it seems too long!!! I know this day too shall pass but Im just not happy or calm today!

[HeyJude]

There will come a day, I promise you, that you will hear that song and smile.  There is no easy or fast way through these early months, you just have to push through it.  We don't have any other choice really, do we? 

 

I have been listening to two audio books.  One is "90 Minutes In Heaven" and "Heaven is Real" (not to be confused with Heaven is For Real".  They are both by the same author, Don Piper.  Now, they are a little on the religious side but the principals that he talks about in "Heaven is Real" can be used by anybody, they are excellent.  He talks about finding the New Normal.  I would recommend that book to anybody on this forum.  It has been a huge help to me.  I want to buy the book now so I can underline all the really excellent statements he makes.

[Dr. Pat]

Hello.

 

Ouch, ouch, ouch. I can tell your heart actually hurts today. You're right about the intensity of the pain - it will pass - - the fear is that it may get worse. Just hang on, care for yourself in these hard times. It's OK to cry and scream - but bargain with yourself about this. "I'll let you fall apart, but then you MUST pay for it by getting out that door and walking to the end of the block, or around the block."

 

Four months out is a very hard time - the shock is wearing off and you are realizing it's for real. I know! I've been there twice now, having lost two beloved husbands 22 years apart. There was no practice effect! I'm a licensed mental health counselor and would love to be able to reach out to you. Let me know if you'd like some help; an ear to listen, some suggestions that have helped me.

 

 Pat

[Dr. Pat]

There will come a day, I promise you, that you will hear that song and smile.  There is no easy or fast way through these early months, you just have to push through it.  We don't have any other choice really, do we? 

 

I have been listening to two audio books.  One is "90 Minutes In Heaven" and "Heaven is Real" (not to be confused with Heaven is For Real".  They are both by the same author, Don Piper.  Now, they are a little on the religious side but the principals that he talks about in "Heaven is Real" can be used by anybody, they are excellent.  He talks about finding the New Normal.  I would recommend that book to anybody on this forum.  It has been a huge help to me.  I want to buy the book now so I can underline all the really excellent statements he makes.

I couldn't agree more about those two books! They are so hope-giving at a time of no hope for most grieving people. 

[Austykatie]

Today is 4 months since Keith died and OMG is the pain worse!!! I have a bunch of good days but this morning has been horrible! I heard one of the songs that reminds me of him on the radio and I know it was him telling me he's with me but it's just not the same! He was the ONLY one who could comfort me and calm me down...what am I going to do?? I feel trapped...4 months isnt very long but at the same time it seems too long!!! I know this day too shall pass but Im just not happy or calm today!

I have to admit it has been 1 year and 3 months since Jim passed and I still have those days. They are not as frequent but sometimes out of no where BAM..I have a bad day! Actually today was one of them for me. I took a nap and talked to a friend, that is how I got thru it. It will not ever go away but just get a little easier. Keep on keeping on..that is all you can do!