Members Brokenhearted2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 My father passed away on 4/22 unexpectedly at my parents home. He was 67. He was in good health and very active for his age. They believe he died of a pulmonary embolism. He had symptoms a week prior (pain in his leg, shortness of breath) but was stubborn and thought it would "just go away". If he had medical attention he would still be with us. I live an hour and a half away - I can't get the picture of his dead body lying covered by a blanket in the living room floor out of my mind. The last two weeks have been so surreal. He was cremated but I'm in denial. I still can't believe he's gone and I'll never see him again. On top of this I'm now the primary caretaker for my mother who was dependent on my father for EVERYTHING. She will likely be moving in with my husband and I once we get the estate cleaned out. And my husband who was also very close to my father lost his mother (76 end stage liver disease) only 15 months ago. Where do we go from here? How do we keep it all together? How do I grieve the loss of my father when I have to help my mother & husband? I'm deeply saddened and feel like my whole world fell apart.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissuDad Posted May 7, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 7, 2014 Hello, I´m really sorry for your losses It´s already hard facing a loss, but when we have to face a loss and several changes, it can be overwhelming. I can´t tell you how to keep it all together, but I promess you that we adapt and somehow we menage to go on day by day... In the next months you´ll have terrible days and others no so terrible. Talking and writing will help you, surrounding yourself with people who understand will also help. Just take it slowly, don´t rush anything in Big hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cindyjane Posted May 8, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 8, 2014 Hi I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. That is so nice of you and your husband to take your mom in and help her out. The face that you are doing that, tells me that you will be led to where to go from here. Just allow yourself to go through the motions of the loss of your dad...always go with your feelings. Cry if you feel like it, scream if you want to and give yourself time to heal before you think about where to go from here. The night my mom passed away, my dad was in the hospital waiting for heart surgery. We almost lost them both that day and following his surgery he has been living with me and needs some care. There was a period that I felt that I wasn't able to grieve the loss of my mom due to being there for my dad who was physically not well and an emotional mess. Gratefully as my dad's health improved, I was able to deal with the loss of my mom. It felt delayed but that's ok because we gotta do what we gotta do right and somehow we get through it. Take careCindy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Andry1130 Posted May 8, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 8, 2014 My mother died on April 16 of a Pulmonary Embolism as well. Trust me I know your pain. I too feel like it is all so surreal. *Hug* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brokenhearted2014 Posted May 9, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted May 9, 2014 Thank you all for your heartfelt responses. It's nice to have a "safe place" like this where I don't have to be strong for anyone and can openly share my feelings without judgement. Your kind words give me hope in the darkness. I'm also very sorry to hear of your losses as well... It's always hardest one the ones left behind. Someone said to me the other day that life is a terminal state - when I think about it in that context it helps to some extent accept the loss but, I still miss him terribly.... My prayers are with all of you that you too find hope, peace & love in the days ahead. Stay strong... One hour, one day at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dbasaraner Posted May 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Dear Brokenheartedi can understand your feelins since i have lost my dad unexpectedly on 1st of April from bladder cancer. He was 72 and seems very healty seems that he never got old..Doctors couldnt belive the age when they heard.it diagnosed 8 months ago but he denied to belive and accept and see just one dr and i feel so guilty force him to see any other doctor..when we decide to see a prof. cancer had spread the muscles so he had to have thesurgery..after surgery he got the infection and couldnt survive..he couldnt handle the surgery..I blame hospitals doctors and myself every single day..I can not imagine a life without him..there were lots of things to do..It has been 42 days and i feel worse than the first days..I have panic attacks and decided to see a therapist...I think that life will never be the same again and i can not be happy anymore.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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