Members TBazzle Posted April 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 Hello,This is my first time talking about my mother passing away. She was rear-ended by a negligent driver on may 5th, 2009. She was in a vegetative coma for 6 days before passing away on mother's day. This is a tough year for me because this is the first year where the date of her passing away falls on Mother's Day again.Today is my daughter's third birthday, so hopefully that will get my mind off things for the day.On a bright note, I'll be graduating with a 4.0 in accounting on the 5th. I know my mom would be proud of me, and i hope that I'll have the strength to attend my own graduation.Sometimes i think that if the man responsible for her death would have just apologized, I could have some closure.community service just doesn't seem like justice to me.I'm not sure why I posted this or even registered here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.Tina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cindyjane Posted April 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 Hi Tina So sorry about your loss. It is difficult enough to lose a parent, but under those tragic circumstances, the loss is harder to take. Your mom is definitely proud of you Tina .... doing such good things in your life, raising a beautiful daughter and graduating with a great mark! I don't believe that community service is the only consequence for the man who did this. We all have to live with what we do in this life and he has to live with what he has done. I know this is easy to say and may be difficult to do sometimes but that man doesn't deserve your headspace. Try to continue to keep your focus on what you've been doing ... raising your daughter and living a good life and making your mom proud. Take care. Cindy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TBazzle Posted April 29, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 Cindy,Thank you for your kind words. I think just talking about it helps. I just feel uncomfortable talking about it with the people who are close to me. It's such a sensitive subject and it tends to make people uncomfortable, and i tend to cry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BaileyB Posted April 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 Hi Tina,The circumstances of my mother's passing were different, but I can appreciate how difficult this must be for you. My mother was diagnosed with cancer on my birthday, my nephew was born four months later (to the day) and this was the same weekend my mom went into hospital before her eventual passing (she really didn't get the opportunity to celebrate his birth or spend any time with him), and then she passed six months to the day of her diagnosis. This year, my 40th birthday falls on Mother's Day, and it will be the three year anniversary of her diagnosis and 2 1/2 year anniversary of her death. Joy... And sadness. All I can say is that the way that I have dealt with the anniversary/birthday is to let go of any expectation of what the day "should" be. I typically take some time to think of her and do something to remember her... And then I plan something special that makes me happy - it's the one day when I get to say, this is what we are doing today because it makes me happy! This year, we are going as a family to the zoo - I think my mom would be overjoyed to know that I'm spending the day with my family, enjoying the smiles of my beautiful niece and nephew. I don't expect that it will be a "good"day, but in her memory, I'm going to do what I can to have a good day - make some happy memories and enjoy the day in her honor. Best wishes to you as you mark this anniversary. Be kind to yourself. I'm sure your mom would want you to celebrate the day with your precious daughter... I'm sure that she will be smiling down on you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissuDad Posted April 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 Hi Tina, I haven´t gone so far in my grief like you have, but you might feel that way because all special dates will always trigger something in us. For what I read on grief, it seems the bad and good things that will happen through out our lives will always remind us that they´re not here with us for support or just for the sharing of the joy. Regarding the circumstances leading to your mom´s death I can understand how frustrating it must be, if a disease can bring out that frustration, something like a stupid accident must be very tough to accept Wherever she may be, I believe she is proud of you and your little girl and during your graduation surround yourself with friends so that period can be more joyful than sad. A big hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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