Members Zara1996 Posted April 27, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 I'm new to this but my mum died when I was 2, so I don't have any memories. But the last 5-6 years all I do is constantly think what if, would she be proud, and I just keep telling myself I'm being stupid I didn't know her bit I constantly thing about her and I cry a lot, everything I do in like I think well she's not here or if something and happens I think I wish I had a mum here I with with my grandma I don't see my dad my life isn't right at all I don't know how to cope with things and other family members are dying around me I am now 17 I do to know what to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zara1996 Posted April 27, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 I forgot to add that I've had depression and I've even tried to kill myself I got bullied I. School for my mum being dead and people told me it was my fault because I'm so fat I mean I'm nob the skinniest but I'm not obese I've tried counselling it doesn't work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cindyjane Posted April 27, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Hi there I am so sorry about the loss of your family members. You have been through a lot in your young life. I believe that our loved ones who have left us want the absolute best for us and that your mum would be very proud of any and all accomplishments in your life. I am so sorry that you have been bullied at school. That seems to be a trend lately. If only those kids knew the hurt and pain they cause. You seem like a wise person and you know that the things they are saying are not true, that is just what bullies do. If the counselling wasn't helpful, are there any peer groups in your area with other teens who are experiencing depression or grieving? I personally find that talking to others who are going through the same things as me very helpful because then I no longer feel alone. Check out what kinds of groups they have in your area and keep coming back here and stay in touch. The good people here really do care.Cindy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zara1996 Posted April 27, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 I've looked for groups but there doesn't seem to be any that's local and that's for the reply ahah people do say I'm boring as I e been through a lot compared to some people my age and I've had to mature quicker people just say I'm boring Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mwruby1 Posted April 27, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Oh my Zara, I am so sorry to hear about your loss of your mother, and for the bullies at your school. Bullying is so mean, and should not be something you or anybody else should have to go through!! Have you tried telling a counselor or principal at your school about the bullying? I know the feeling of thinking if you mom were here today...would she be happy with the choices, and decisions you have made. My mother died a little over a month ago, in which I am questioning everything I do in my life... Oh Zara I feel for you so much... Do you have any siblings? I agree with Cindyjane in regards to finding a group you can attend, where you can relate to other teens who has experienced some similar experience. Just because one doesn't check out, continue looking until you find one you are comfortable with. Maybe you can look into personal counseling as well. This site is definitely a start because you'll find some many other people are experiencing some of the same things you are. I am here for Zara. I know you don't know me, but I will be here to talk to if you need to vent, and or if you need some advice. I know exactly how it feels to feel alone.... I will keep you in my prayers..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissuDad Posted April 28, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 Hi Zara, I´m really sorry for your losses and for what you´ve been going through and being so young I can´t tell you that you´ll get over the losses, because you start to learn to live with them, but regarding your school mates in a few years when you accomplish what you wish in life, you´ll be able to look back at those people and say, "I became who I wanted to be, can they say the same?" I know people are usually "light" when it comes to children´s behaviour, but sometimes it goes beyond the acceptable and they should be punished for that. No one had the right to scar you for life and saying you caused your mom´s death is just unacceptable and extremely cruel, even for a kid. Considering all you´ve been through, I´d say is normal ending up feeling depressed, you probably isolated yourself and felt you had no one If therapy is not working try a new therapist, there are good and bad ones, like in every job, you just need to find one that meets your needs and to whom you´ll feel connected and can trust, if you already lack faith in him/her, it´s time to change. To help you find some peace of my mind you can change therapist and try physical exercise, yoga and writing a diary or even an anonymous blog where you can say anything you feel like and get it out of your head. Keep posting here too, there´s always someone who can relate to your story. If you feel the need to vent, you can text me. Hang in there, a big hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zara1996 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 I don't go to school anymore, I'm now in college and a little over 5 years ago I had depression and I allowed myself to get groomed and now peoe just don't let me forget it and if I'm going through a hard time or enter a new chapter of my life I think of my mum I just don't know what to do and I'm sorry to hear about your mum too it's hard to deal with and thank you so much x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zara1996 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 I feel I can't trust anyone I keep everything inside I'm not an open person and I've lost friends because I let the feelings build up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zara1996 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 Oh my Zara, I am so sorry to hear about your loss of your mother, and for the bullies at your school. Bullying is so mean, and should not be something you or anybody else should have to go through!! Have you tried telling a counselor or principal at your school about the bullying? I know the feeling of thinking if you mom were here today...would she be happy with the choices, and decisions you have made. My mother died a little over a month ago, in which I am questioning everything I do in my life... Oh Zara I feel for you so much... Do you have any siblings? I agree with Cindyjane in regards to finding a group you can attend, where you can relate to other teens who has experienced some similar experience. Just because one doesn't check out, continue looking until you find one you are comfortable with. Maybe you can look into personal counseling as well. This site is definitely a start because you'll find some many other people are experiencing some of the same things you are. I am here for Zara. I know you don't know me, but I will be here to talk to if you need to vent, and or if you need some advice. I know exactly how it feels to feel alone.... I will keep you in my prayers..... i do have siblings yes 1 brother and 1 sister but i dont see my brother as he was adopted when i was born and i have met him but hes one of them that gits himself into trouble and comes back when he wants something, he blames me and my sister for whats happened like him being adopted and saying my mum didnt want us and the family wanted us not him etc. and i dont go to school anymore but from whats happened in school and in my life i feel i cant move on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mwruby1 Posted April 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 i do have siblings yes 1 brother and 1 sister but i dont see my brother as he was adopted when i was born and i have met him but hes one of them that gits himself into trouble and comes back when he wants something, he blames me and my sister for whats happened like him being adopted and saying my mum didnt want us and the family wanted us not him etc. and i dont go to school anymore but from whats happened in school and in my life i feel i cant move onAre you and your sister close? If so, have you tried talking to her about how you feel? Is your brother the oldest? I totally understand how you feel about moving on. It's something that was terrible for you to go through, so you are stuck because all the things you've endured hurt you tremendously. What do you think about seeking personal counseling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zara1996 Posted April 29, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 No we're not close and yes my brother is the eldest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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